Support Matters - Guest Post by Chardonnay Merlot

It was a Saturday night out on the dance floor. Me with a big smile on my face. You can never get too much of the feeling of a fun night out, surrounded by friends, all while working the perfect outfit.

The added bonus? For me, it was at the place where my journey truly began.

On that night two years before,-- I, Chardonnay Merlot, stepped out into the world for the first time.

I was alone, nervous, scared. I wasn't sure I was gonna go through with it.

My Heartbeat keeping time with the click-clack of heels on a parking lot.

Earlier that day, I was in a dressing room at a small shop maybe an hour away.

Looking in a mirror at me.

It was overload seeing myself in a way I'd always wanted to but never felt safe in doing.

And then I was told, "You really should consider going out tonight. There's nothing gained by hiding who you are."

I ended up going to a club that night. Nervous to the point of nausea.

"Don't be nervous honey, be out and be proud."

I met others like me that night.

A couple of weeks later, I was late to my first meeting with my support group and the group leader gave me the 'Don Rickles' treatment for being quite late, and then embraced me... as did the whole community.

The common denominator: Someone reached out.

I'm grateful for so many who have, mainly in a lot of small ways, from besties who call and Facebook me just to ask "how ya doin?" to those who have shared their experience and wisdom with me from the beginning.

Those first steps were tentative and nervous. Looking back I wonder how ever got the heart to take them.

It was because somebody took one second to tell me, "Live it. Learn it. Own it."

Because somebody took one second to show me how to use a foundation brush more efficiently.

Because someone spent an evening sharing their journey, their story, and was patient with me.

Because a group of people invited me in with open arms.

Because a group of people saw a shy scared person trying to find answers and they took me in.

Thanks to that, I've found a new peace, a new strength and have expanded my circle because of it. The journey feels a little less arduous and a lot less lonely, because from the beginning so many, in big ways and small, sent the most important message: "You are not alone."

 Support Matters

-Chardonnay Merlot

Interview with a Straight Crossdresser # 2 ~Gia

I recently reached out to everyone who 'like' the Straight Crossdressers & Friends Facebook page to see if anyone there was willing to be interviewed for the blog. A few people volunteered to. This is the first of the finished interviews. 

This interview is with Gia, a beautiful 32 year old crossdresser from NY.

*PP: I'm glad you agreed to be interviewed for my blog, its been awhile since I've done one. I wanna try to make it a regular feature.
(*PP= Pirate Pebbs aka yours truly)

Gia: aww, you're welcome. I'm glad there are blogs like this and appreciate you doing this.

PP: Thank you!

PP: Do you find it odd that a Genetic girl, like myself, is so passionate about wanting to straighten people out?

Gia: Interesting word selection. "straighten"

PP: lol, I'm punny sometimes.

Gia: I don't think it's odd, but I do think it is rare.  It is difficult enough finding genetic women who are attracted to people like myself who perhaps are more "open" about expressing their feminine side.  To find someone who outwardly supports it to the point of building your own blog and reader base is something else altogether. So rare indeed.

PP: I never really thought of it that way...

I see myself as more of a person who doesn't like to see people put down for how they feel

I want people to be Happy and if people have to hide part of themselves because others will think they are odd or something so they keep everything pent up inside...they'll never really be happy.* (*This doesn't apply to people who become happy by abusing others or indulging in highly illegal activities People who have abusive impulses should seek help by a trained professional to help them overcome their abusive thoughts & impulses.)

Gia: Hehe. That's a good philosophy. All I can say is keep it up and perhaps you might encourage others with similar ideals.

PP: I'll do my best.

Gia: I've made sacrifices for being able to express who I am. Some are fairly significant. I think Dan Savage said something along the lines of, "the most powerful thing anyone within the LGBTQ community can do for change is to come out."

PP: Indeed! Now I'll [finally] get on to the questions. 

First, What name shall I call you? Gia or is there more to the name that you'd like noted?

Gia: It's just Gia. The name is somewhat influenced by the movie and the model. And there is a closeness to my actual name, which I'll leave to everyone's imagination.

PP: Ah, I know of that Gia, cool!

About when did you become interested in or start crossdressing?

Gia: When I was just a little cross dresser. I used to sneak into my sister's closet when no one was home and play dress up in front of the mirror. Course I was a bit limited at that point, but the fascination grew.

PP: Is she older than you?

Gia: Yes, she's older. Which was good news for me since the clothes was a better fit. I wonder if I would have tried on her clothes if she was a little sister. That feels different for some reason.

PP: Have you ever been 'caught' [as a kid]? If so, by who?

Gia: Haha. Once, I think I unconsciously sabotaged myself. 

I was getting more daring and I was again rummaging through my sister's closet. This time it was in our weekend home, and there was this flowery dress that I used to love to wear. Well, it turned out that they were getting rid of it. I snuck the dress into my own closet and left it there.

Of course my mom found it, and gave me this completely embarrassing guilt trip about how boys shouldn't be wearing dresses.

That was the first and last time I was ever caught by my family. To this day, they don't have a clue.

PP: That was my next question, if your family knows you did, but I know that answer now.

Gia: Well, there was a minor incident when I still had a trace of eyeliner and my sister saw it, but I made up some story about being dragged out to a goth night by some girl friends. [so to answer the question] No, and I think I'm going to leave it that way. I'm sure my dad wouldn't really care. Well not really. But my mom, lovely woman, is a bit more old fashioned and would never get it.

PP: Have you /do you ever gone out crossdressed in public?

Gia: Yes, all of the time!

PP: When did you start going out [cross] dressed?

Gia: It took some getting used to. But I started to get dressed up on my own and going out after I finished college and moved out to my own apartment.

PP: Do you get someone to do your makeup? Did anyone teach you how to apply makeup?   Did you learn trial & error style?

Gia: Of course back [then], I relied on more help to get ready and didn't really know how to work it without looking like a cheap hooker with bad make-up. But I eventually developed my own style and with some coaching from my lovely make-up artist friends, I developed the basics for painting. I've had a long list of teachers.  Thank god for Craigslist and Myspace.

PP: Are you 'Passing' /is it your goal to be passing?

Gia: It's important to me that... I don't look like a guy in a bad wig.

Yes, passing is my goal, but I'm realistic. I'm a tall guy. Big shoulders, and there is only so much you can do. So, I do what I can to get as close as I can. But I have no expectation that people aren't going to know I'm a boy in a dress. At least after a 2nd or 3rd look.

PP: From the photos I've seen you look great! Passing or not!

Gia: Aww, why thank you.

I'm a cross dresser, but I like to refer to myself sometimes as a female illusionist. It's about creating a perception / image of being a woman. But I don't necessarily feel like a woman, or want to be one. It's also a bit like creating an alter ego where I can act a certain way that I wouldn't otherwise.

PP: Indeed!

Do you Tuck &[/or] Shave when you crossdress?

Gia: Tucking is a general term. I wear briefs and 2 pairs of tights, and usually that's enough. I don't usually pick out outfits where it would be too tight in the wrong spots.

As for shaving, I do to varying degrees. Of course I shave my face. I usually shave my chest too, but the legs I usually hold off on unless there is a really good reason.

And I leave my arms and hands alone. Those are just too tough to explain. It's all about the long gloves. 

PP: I hear ya!

What makes you want to crossdress? How does it make you feel?

Gia: Haha. Good question. I think it's changed/evolved over the years.

I didn't know what to make of it at first. Yes, like a lot of cross dressers, it's a bit of a turn on, and I think that's primarily how it started. It was exciting to see how sexy I can get. I'd look at myself in the mirror and get turned on by what I saw, and I wanted to do more. It was the primary driver to buying new clothes and shoes and make up.

PP: Does [being] Gia make you feel more empowered? Less shy? Anything like that?

Gia: Well, yes. And that goes to the other reasons for my dressing. 

It evolved to the point where it wasn't about turning myself on. I've reached the point where I realized that it was more of a release. A chance to escape from the same old and be someone else for awhile. While at the same point be able to more freely express my inner feminine side - which is much easier to get to when you're in a dress.

Needless to say, there were some ups and downs along the way.

PP: [Unfortunately], life is full of those.

Gia: I've heard other stories about people essentially taking these deep introspective looks at themselves and basically trying to numb the need or desire to cross dress.

Twice in my evolution, I've tossed out full wardrobes in street corner trash cans, far away from my apartment. Out of disgust.

"This is not who I am. I'm a boy, I like girls, I'm confused, stop doing this to yourself."

But it always comes back. And it's really about accepting it to whatever level that you're comfortable. Whether that's wearing the occasional panty in bed, or in my case, full ensemble head-to-toe going out to bars and dancing. Or the occasional photo shoot.

PP: Ideally what percentage of your time would you prefer to be 'dressed'? like half the time, every once in awhile, every weekend etc?

Gia: It depends. Usually I'd go out 3-4 times per month in drag. It depends if there is a reason, and I don't typically dress up to just hang out in my apartment alone. That's boring. If I'm going to spend 2 - 2 1/2 hours getting ready - I want to be seen darn it!

PP: I hear ya!

Have you ever been caught by a girlfriend? If not, have you admitted to crossdressing to a girlfriend? What was the result?

Gia: No, never caught. And with my last significant relationship I was pretty upfront about it right away. It wasn't easy. But important. And we got through it, at least at the beginning.

I wish I could say that it was a positive in our relationship, but it wasn't. And although I don't think it was the only reason for why we eventually broke up, it was a big factor.

PP: I still think being honest up front is the best way to start a relationship

thats what I generally tell to all my CD friends & on my blog.

Gia: Exactly. So now, I've been very focused on trying to date girls who know about Gia right up front so there are no surprises down the line. Gia even has her own [dating website] profile.

PP: Is there an inspiration for your look?

Gia: I can't point to anything specific. But I like to be edgy. Bit more rock and roll versus country. Nothing against country. But my roots are in punk and maybe a little glam. It's funny to put names to it, but it's like a weird combo of David Bowie, Lady Gaga, Angelina Jolie and Sid Vicious.

PP: Cool!

Do you have a story or idea to share that you haven't previously shared here?

Gia: I want to express that if it wasn't for Gia, I would not have met some of the most interesting and special people in my life. She's opened up new experiences that I would never have had before, and frankly, makes life more interesting to live.

It's not easy being a straight cross dresser. But usually it's worth it.

PP: I feel like i've met a lot of cool interesting people through my blogging etc as well. I'm glad I was encouraged to start it.

Thank you for letting me interview you for my blog today. Would you like for me to put a link to your online profile or email, in case some lovely ladies are interested in getting to get to know you better? 

Gia: Yep, anyone should feel free to reach me at callmegia@mail.com. But I can't guarantee I'll be able to reply to everyone.

That was  Interview with a Straight Crossdresser #2. If you have any questions or comments feel free to comment below or you could email me or Gia. You can reach me at StraightCrossdressers@gmail.com , PiratePebbs@gmail.com or at the Facebook page Facebook.com/straightcrossdressers. I hope you all enjoyed learning a bit more about some of the wonderful people who inhabit our world who I happen to hold dear.

Raven 14

This time I was able to bring one of my GG friends along for Saturday. Its nice to have more genetic girls in attendance who support t-girls. But Raven weekend starts on Fridays. On Friday Paula & I drove up to the hotel that the meet & greet was at. After changing rooms once we got Paula's makeup on & got her all dolled up. This time i got the make-up on her pretty well. I implemented something i had heard cosmetologists talk about as far as shading. It all worked well. We went to the meet & greet and saw some of our old friends and met some new ones. We had a really good time and retired just a few steps from the meet & greet to the hotel room, way better than driving for an hour + to go home. Next day had continental breakfast then I was off to pick up my GG friend, Felixia, from philly. Picked her up then headed to the franklin mills mall. I still had Nothing to wear to the main event. Saturday is the red carpet, dinner & dancing. Stopped in JCPenny (I work in the portrait studio of a JCP so I has discount whoot!) Found the perfect dress & accessories and even a dress for my kid (awesome!)! We headed back to New Hope. Paula started on her makeup before we got there (as planned) so I only had to finish the work. Paula was sooooooooooooo excited to wear the dress I made for her. We all got ourselves together (a bit later than we should have cause we had plenty of time, oops) we got there still with red carpet time. Paula showed off her awesome dress. Looked beautiful! Like the prom princess of Raven 14. She got shoes just for the red carpet....then off they came cause they were super uncomfortable, but like they say, beauty is pain.
After the red carpet was dinner. Food was awesome, as usual at Raven. Marty was there again this time, but not our waiter (yes I have total waiter favouritism). Still had a bit of a chat with him. Awesome person, you should totally chat w/him if you meet him. Next off to the dance floor. I...had to consume a few amaretto sours before I could dance (I have a bit of dancing shyness). Had a few drinks, danced and made some new friends. Saw more GG/CD couples this time than before, which I thought was awesome! Also met a girl named Samantha (who a couple weeks later we, Paula, Jerome and myself took out to the mall to shop for girl clothes), who was very sweet. Also spent a good half hour or so chatting with Mercury. Kinda made tentative plans to hang out...never panned out. Maybe next time. Sunday morning we met with Jackie at the breakfast spot at the eagle diner. This time with Paula in guy mode. (We saw a few of the other girls in guy mode as well) We had a nice conversation & a nice breakfast there. Next we headed off home after a fun weekend. All in all I always have fun at the Raven weekends. The Next Raven is June 1st. I already am bringing 1 other Genetic Girl who is interested in dating crossdressers. Hopefully she'll find the girl of her dreams there. I'm hoping to bring a few other girls. We'll see.

I Love you ALL!
~Pirate Pebbs

Raven 13 part 3 - finale...finally

Raven 13 part 1
Raven 13 part 2
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Thanks to that full bottle of wine I didn't need any other liquid courage all night. We danced a bit. Met a couple of other GG/TV couples I hadn't seen there previously. Also saw a couple I had met there before. Had a brief chat with Maureen, whom I met at a previous Raven event, also had a chat with a couple where their family all know about his crossdressing for the past 6 years!!! I think that’s pretty awesome!  There were a good deal of people attending for the first time and having such a great time. I didn't have my friend there this time to take pictures so I have less than I’d like to have had. Ah well. Got to be 2am, everyone either went home or to their rooms to either sleep or party more.

The next morning we went to meet up for breakfast at the nearby Eagle Diner. There were a few people from the Raven event, at least 2 rather large tables and several smaller tables had faces I recognized from the night before. Some of the gurls were in girl mode and a few were in guy mode. Paula and I sat at one of the rather large tables surrounded by people we knew either by face or name. I sat next to an older woman I had met a few times before named Jackie. I thought Jackie was a GG supporter of T-Girls, like myself. But as I was chatting with her she mentioned herself being ‘dad’. I was floored!!! I HAD No Idea! I didn't (or at least tried) not to express my shock, in a good way. She is totally passing!!! She is also very sweet & a wiz in the kitchen. I LOVE to hear other people’s stories and she had many. Stories were told of the ex-wife (who didn't cook very well), kids and even grandkids. The grandkids know her as Aunt Jackie, which I think is cute. When they get much older and start asking questions I guess they’ll get the answers then, but for now Aunt Jackie will do. Also at our table was the Dancing Queen Linda, a few men… men…er… Men who don’t dress…I guess. Also at our table was our wonderful event host Jen!!! But…not dressed as Jen. She was in guy mode. Ok, so Paula and I were wondering what Jen looked like in guy mode. Neither of us could imagine. Actually, for a while I thought she’d already went under the knife and was full time girl but I was told that she went to work male. So my mind was kinda blown seeing her w/o boobs, wig & make-up I guess. She was still Jen. Same voice, same attitude, same zeal for life. She just looked a bit different. I saw a few others out of their girl clothes at breakfast. It was a nice time. We talked about maybe having a flag football game at another Raven weekend. That would totally be a fun thing to do, maybe a Friday afternoon in the spring or summer. We all had out meal and had a good time eating and laughing together. Then it was time to go.

The thing I like is that there are girls who go to the Raven who are at every stage of…T-Girl-ness. You have the girls Dressing and going out for the first time, girls who just like to dress up and go out who have no interest in transitioning, girls who would like to transition but because of their significant other are not. There are girls who have transitioned who are still with their spouse who are working on seeing if this life will work out for them. There are girls fully transitioned and looking for a significant other of their own, be their preference male or female…or another t-girl. I love that, though not everyone necessarily knows where everyone else is on the spectrum of things, everyone respects one another enough that no one is ever put down for being one way or another or having a gender preference etc. …Though I did hear that one girl’s spouse was disrespected by being inappropriately touched by a couple of the gurls… that totally was not cool. From what I hear this was an isolated event, I’d never been harassed in that way but I, being a natural born GG don’t go around grabbing other girls bums. It’s not cool to do to someone you hardly know.

That being said, the weekend was fun. I met new people and hope to talk to them more in the future. Next time I think I’ll see if I can gather email addys and get a conversation going that way. Maybe have a few more interviews under my belt and on to my page. It seems my 1 ‘interview with a straight crossdresser’ is the most popular post on my blog. I plan on doing a year in review for 2012 blog posting soon.

Laterz!

Raven 13 part 2

Raven 13 part 1
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I got very little sleep that night. Got up early to greet my sis when she arrived at my house. Hang out with her for a bit then we went to an early lunch (brunch) at RiverWinds in NJ. Awesome food, service & atmosphere there. I always enjoy meals there. Try the calamari, they make the absolute best!!! 

After Brunch with the sis, Paula and I stopped by a JCPennys and got a few things we needed…I think stockings were the major needed item. We also looked at the clearance jewelry. can’t remember if we got anything else. Back into the car to drive up to New Hope.

We got there…maybe around 2 or 3pm and started to get Paula ready first (as usual). I did similar makeup as the previous day but used lighter grey on the eyelids. Because of the way Paula’s dress was cut and the corset being cut the way it was, Paula’s faux boobs couldn't fit in the dress without showing through. I decided we’d try to create cleavage using make-up. I didn't have the right kind of make-up so I improvised. It didn't come out as good as expected but, looking at the pictures, it did have a bit of the desired effect. On went the corset and then the hair. Paula really like everything about the hair on the previous day so I duplicated it in a more secure way than the day before (I couldn't fine more than 2 bobby-pins on Friday). I got the hair pinned up securely with many pins. While Paula finished getting herself ready, I worked on me. I had to iron my Lehenga Choli cause…well…I didn't have it properly hanging so it was very wrinkled. I decided on wearing false eyelashes that had rhinestones on it. I said, out loud, “If these don’t stick the first time I’m not wearing them”. They must have wanted to be worn cause they went on quite easily. I used this gold make-up…stick thing (that I got from the dollar store a few months ago) on my eyes and lips. It’s the type where you can use it wet or dry. I usually use it wet. It’s more opaque when used wet, it’s more of a shimmer when dry. I didn't do much with my make-up. I bobby pinned my tikka into my hair. Pinned my hair up a bit got dressed and we got out and to the Red Carpet before it was over!!! Red carpet is from 4:30pm until 7:30pm. I think we got there around 6:45pm. We met our friend Jen and she was quite surprised to see that we actually made it out to the red carpet. We had our pictures taken on the red carpet with our friends. I…forgot to get a red carpet shot alone. Ah well. There are pictures of me sharing the spotlight with others.

I met a lovely lady there…whose name I have forgotten (Maybe Jennifer…why am I so bad w/ names???) She was tall and passing! She wondered why I was there. I told her cause I like crossdressers. She seemed quite pleased with my answer. She said she had previously believed herself to be a straight crossdresser but was recently also interested in males. She was quite interesting. She told me about how she used to wear wigs and how once the wig is on she is ‘Jennifer’. Then she decided to grow her hair out. Once there is no wig/you’re always in the wig where does ‘guy type’ stop and ‘girl type’ begin? It’s kind of perplexing. I’d love to talk to her more about her views on herself etc. I told her about my blog and wrote down my blog address…maybe I should have gotten her email? Ah well, hopefully I’ll see her again at another event and we can chat more. I ran into some other friends there. Allie came in wearing this awesome black dress with red shoes; she looked as fashionable as ever. I met another GG there who is dating a crossdresser. Her Gurl couldn’t make it that night but she still came with another friend. She made her complete outfit. The dress, which looked awesome & awesome on her, her hair accessories, the works and for the life of me…I can’t remember her name either *sigh*. I also met Lisa’s lovely lovely spouse. She was very sweet. I got to chat with her a little bit; hopefully I can chat with her more some other time. Lisa was so much happier at this Raven than the last one I saw her at. I think maybe having the love of her life there was the reason. Sometimes it’s lonely not having the one you love nearby. I can’t say for sure why she didn’t seem very happy at the last one, I didn't feel it was my place to ask, I was just glad to see her so happy at this one. After a few more pictures it was time to head over to the Raven for dinner.

We had our dinner reservations set for 7:45pm I believe. We arrived there about 7:25pm and asked if we could be seated early and we were able to. The Host there was looking awesome as usual. This evening he was wearing all white with diamond-esque embellishments on his tall white hat (kinda like the nutcracker styled only with white faux fur) and was wearing a big diamond-esque rhinestone necklace. It turns out he was a creator of costumes (awesome!). I like being crafty as well. Maybe at some point I’ll make something from scratch to wear to a Raven event. We were seated and I decided on having wine…a whole bottle of wine. When I thought about it, it was cheaper than getting several separate glasses of wine and I usually don’t change wines glass to glass. Whereas Paula…is not a drinker so…More wine for me, Whoot! After we ordered we mingled a bit with some of the girls there. Went to a few tables, made some new acquaintances, talked to a few people we had met earlier that night and the night before. At the table behind ours was a girl who was attending their first Raven event. She had a makeover by a make-up artist who often comes to make over girls who request the service. She does great work. Nikki looked great. She seemed to be enjoying herself very much. As I looked around the room I spotted a couple I had seen before who I’d only seen for dinner, usually they were leaving just after I got there (we were always running late) I wanted to talk to them… they were wearing the cutest dresses J I mentioned in my previous post about this encounter (here) finished up dinner and headed to the dance floor.
(cont. Raven 13 part 3)

Raven 13 Part 1

Ok, so I've been reallllly wordy with this post so I figured i'd break it up into bitesized chunks...you know...if you take really big bites. Also, I would have had this up days ago, but for some reason Blogspot wasn't working on Chrome (my usual browser), then I tried on FireFox and it seemed like it'd work...but no, it didn't. I'm currently using (dare I say) Internet Explorer *shudder*
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I went to the Raven 13 party on the weekend of Jan 12-14 and had fun as usual. It’s a free event and all T-girls & admirers are invited. This time I made all of the events!!! A first for me, yay!

Here is how the schedule of events usually goes: Friday is the Meet & Greet. Starts about 7:45pm and goes till 2am. Most don’t stay till 2. It’s at a bar& grill, near the Raven. Then around midnight, whoever is up for it goes over to the Raven for some dancing. On Saturday some of the girls meet up in New Hope for Shopping early in the day then get ready for the Red carpet shoot, across the street from the Raven. That starts at 4:30pm and goes till about 7:30pm. Starting at 7pm at the Raven is Dinner. Dinner is optional (not free where as the rest of the events are free) goes till about 9pm. Then the much awaited Dance Party starts at 9 at the Raven on their dance floor. That goes till 2am. The next morning about 10-20 of the attendees go to breakfast at the nearby Eagle Diner as a nice end to a nice weekend. Here is how the weekend got going for me.

On Friday I spent a couple hours honing my make-up artistry skills on Paula’s face. I am getting quite good, if I do say so myself. I applied most of the make-up. (click here for details of what I did on Paula's face)**Then I had Paula apply the Mascara. A bit of blush, some red lipstick & Paula’s face is ready. Next into the brand New Corset Paula got from Corset Story, pulled in nice and tight so Paula had a very nice Hourglass figure. Then on with the rest of Paula’s shirts…I think Paula was triple layered that day. Corset, Shirt, Sweater/jacket-y…thing with a belt around that. Next on with the wig. A while ago, I think for the Raven 12 party, Paula got a curly ponytail to attach to the wig. It looked really cute to the side as it was. This time we did something different with the ponytail. We made the wig & ponytail look kinda like a bumped up hair style. I put the ponytail just a little behind the bangs. Pulled some hair around it and pinned it into place. A while ago Paula was talking about wanting the hair up and we figured that’s be a bit time consuming and couldn’t do it in time for this raven event. Well, once Paula saw how her hair looked like that, she was sooooo happy!! It was exactly how she’d imagined it!!!. Awesome again! I put a lil black tiara in her hair around the bump and Paula looked like a princess!

We were running a bit late for the Friday Meet & Greet (as usual) So I did about 5 minutes worth of make-up on myself, pretty much just liner, mascara, concealer. Put on my dress, found a pair of shoes& out of the house we went. I didn’t even do my lips till be were outside the meet & greet. We got there after 8pm...maybe 8:30-ish. Went in saw a few friends we had met previous times. Jen (the party planner that made it all happen) Chelle & Reena was there. Plus many others we’d met previously (not all whose names I remember…yeah…I’m horrible with names, sorry girls) I ordered a drink, Amaretto Sour, one of my fav’s. …They…did not make it correctly…at all…it was horrible. I took 2 sips and had to take it back and had them make me something else. I don’t know what she made, but it was good. J I ordered food cause I didn't have time to feed myself before leaving my house. I can’t even remember what I ate, but it was good J. Meanwhile Paula went around meeting some new people. I also went around after a few minutes…it took me forever to decide what to eat. I met some girls who were at the Raven for the first time, (this was my 3^rd time) They all seemed really excited. I met another lady who sells Avon as well. She’s been doing it for a year where as I have only been for a few months. I remember one person I met is named Destiny…cause I have a lil cousin with that name so it was easy to remember that one. There is a girl there that is always dancing. She is a dancing diva!!! Every time I see her dancing I swear she must have been a cheerleader in a former life. I believe her name is Linda. I talked to her about it; she says she feels like she’s performing when she dances. She certainly looks like she’s performing; she gets my stamp of approval. J I took a few pictures and was in a few as well. We headed over to the Raven for a little bit but left early. In a few hours my sister would be touching down at the Philly airport from California. So off we went back to my house so I could await my sister’s arrival. Unfortunately, Paula started feeling ill. I think we stopped for some Dayquil on the way back which Paula started consuming.

photobucket.com/raven13party

(cont. Part 2 & Part 3)

Paula's Perspective - CD learns how to apply Make-Up

I had Paula do a write-up on her perspective of the whole make-up situation (CD learns how to apply Make-Up). I think it's good to hear both sides of whats going on. Since I'll never truly be on the other side, I find it interesting to know how one is feeling about the same situation. And so I present another 'Paula's Perspective' which will probably become a regular feature as Paula continues her adventures in crossdressing.

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I should apologize first I think I’ve been holding up Pebbs blog. I’ve been meaning to write this since we had our trip to the store but between the excitement of the raven party and a rough week at work haven’t had much time here we go though :).

I think I went into Monday totally looking forward to it and totally panicking at the same time. I haven’t been outside dressed other than the first raven party, and even shopping Pebbs has carried the clothes to cover for me. This one was going to be obvious that I was getting made over. I was really nervous about it but I stayed calm since no one I know goes to that mall, and Pebbs was there helping keep me calm.

It actually was pretty awesome they showed me a lot of tips. The woman helping us was really nice too she was polite and helpful. She showed me good ways to brush the makeup on instead of just trying to sell it to me. (I’ll admit I need a lot more practice to get better at it) It was pretty subtle most of the way which was tough for me. I have a double disadvantage in addition to being new to dressing up, I’m color blind so a lot of shades look identical to me. They were pretty nice though and helpful even there doing there best to pick out colors I could see a difference in. The blush was pretty easy to see, and the eye shadow was a pinkish and dark grey color it made it easier to see where they were doing all of the makeup to try and make a note of how they put it on.

It was totally cool though I could see the face getting smoother and the contours as she worked at it but there was one point without the wig that I had trouble visualizing it. I thought I looked a bit like the joker from batman… once Pebbs insisted I try the wig on and I looked in the mirror wow… what a change I could totally see girl mode sitting there… despite my guy shirt hehe. Pebbs wanted me to wear the makeup out but I was getting nervous there had already been a few people who came in the store, they didn’t say anything or act weird but I felt pretty self conscious already. Did have the weird feeling I haven’t had since I was a kid playing around with whatever makeup I could get my hands on. Where I’d take it off but then feel certain that it was obvious I’m still wearing it like my lashes looking girly, lips looking fuller… I know it wasn’t true and I looked normal but still made me nervous until we got home and I could finish scrubbing hehe.

Then I got to go back to Pebbs place and get all dressed up in my new dress, try on some stockings, and Pebbs made me awesome jewelry to go with it. I couldn’t wait for the raven party now, but that will be an update for next time. A weekend of dancing and having fun with pebbs in girl mode deserves it’s own post. :)

In the meantime I better get back to practicing I want to be able to do more of my makeup by the next raven party so that Pebbs won’t have to work quite as hard at doing hers and mine.

CD learns how to apply Make-Up

A month or so ago I stopped by Bare Escentuals to price some replacement make-up. While I was there I decided to inquire as to whether or not they apply make-up to males. I explained that I write a blog about straight crossdressers and that I was impressed with their teaching me how to apply make-up 4-ish years ago, and I wondered if they’d do the same for males who want to look female. They told me that they do and have. They even went on to tell me a few stories. I was quite pleased that I would be able to bring men there to learn how to make themselves look girlish without the use of make-up with harmful chemicals. They told me the best times to come are Monday-Thursday evenings. There are usually less people in the mall and even less in the store. I was told to call in advance for an appointment.

 The original plan was to take Paula to Bare Escentuals on Wednesday night. I called and set the appointment explaining I was bringing in a male to have a makeover. …then I remembered that I had work Wednesday night. I called Paula up and asked if *he were free that night (Monday) and he was. I called back and set the appointment to just a few hours from the time I called. I picked Paula up and we headed to the Christiana Mall in Delaware. Paula brought along his new dresses (which had come in the mail that day) and his wig…in a duffel bag (ah the trusty duffel bag that every crossdresser has, or at least has had, for storing his girl things). We headed to the store and told them who we were and the lady there started on his face.

She started out with their basic ‘Get Started’ kit which included a foundation, mineral veil, brushes. She even showed how you can cover up the old 5 o’ clock shadow with just a few strokes using the concealer brush. That’ll totally come in handy. She showed him how to do some natural looking contouring on his face. It was quite interesting to see. Since, at that point, paula was unsure of  what color dress he’d be wearing to Raven 11 (either a red dress or black one) the make-up artist decided to go with a light pink & smoky eye combo that she figured would go great with either color. After she was done I took a picture of Paula’s face …but… well… I couldn’t really see if it looked right w/o the wig on. So I pulled the wig out of the trusty duffle bag and put it on Paula’s head and took another picture. Now I could see it and it looked Great! Before we left… he took all of the makeup off, we were in a populated mall after all and he was dressed as a guy. I would have loved to have him stay in the makeup so that I could see him in his new dresses all made up, but that wasn’t to be. We did go back to my place and had him try on the dresses. One was way too big. The other one was just right. I fashioned some accessories for him. I made a pair of my favorite earrings into clip-ons for him to wear. I also made a necklace, and extended the chain of an anklet. All he needs now is a ring and maybe a  bracelet or two and his look is complete…though…he really doesn’t need either of those and he’d still look great. On Saturday I and all in attendance at the party will see how well he learned how to apply make-up from the lady at Bare Esentuals. …but if it doesn’t look great…I’ll probably help him out. I mean, he is still a beginner. I’m amazed he agreed to actually go into the place…inside of a mall, to learn. He’s definitely got guts! …Or maybe he just really trusts that I won’t let anything go wrong. Well…I guess we’ll know if I can get him to write about his perspective of the experience. J

*(The reason I used the pronoun ‘he’ is because he was in guy mode most of the time and he doesn’t care what pronoun is use when referring to him. I asked)

Jen Bryant's Fall Fantasy (Raven 11)

Paula & I Plan on attending our 2nd outing to this CD/TV/TS/(insert preferred acronym here) & Admirers event in a CD friendly town. The first one we went to I posted about Raven 10. We had a Blast! I also met a few people who read this blog (Awesome!). If all goes well I will be at this one in the dress I talked about in the previous post (in its soon to be altered state). Last time I was there my guest contributor Lisa Empanada was there as well. I hope to see you there! I shouldn't be too hard to recognize. I'll most likely have a camera in my hand most of the time. 

(Copied from the event posting from Meet-Up group T-Girls United) 

Jen Bryant's Fall Fantasy (Raven 11)

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  Saturday, September 22, 2012

  9:45 PM
• The Raven

  385 West Bridge Street, New Hope, PA

  
  

  You couldn't miss us if you tried

  
  
• Yes Raven 10 is over, and I hope that everyone has finally recovered and gotten on with there lives...I know that for me it was really hard going back to the real world after spending 3 days surrounded by the most amazing group of people one could ever meet. As one friend put it...it was surreal...so many smiles...so many good vibes...and mostly so much kindness shown towards one another. This was not an event my friends...it was more like the beginning of a movement. We were seen at swimming in the pool, we were seen at McDonald's, we were seen at the Diner, we were seen throughout Main street...yes my friends we were seen!!!...we took over Sliders (so called straight bar)...straight bar my ass...we owned it!!!...yes, we were seen, but not only that, we showed a whole community how beautiful we are. We show respect and ask nothing but the same...we smile at others and now find we get smiles in return. Surreal?...yeah for sure...but here's the thing...get used to it, New Hope looks forward to our events now, and the next event will be bigger and better than any other. Sooooooooo many plans are being worked on and will be announced as we get closer to the date. So, that being said, I am pleased to announce The Fall Fantasy (Raven 11) will be held on September 22nd at the Raven Resort. If possible try and come out Friday night as well. For those of you that have attended in the past, please try and make it, YOU are part of something great, and for those that have not yet attended, WHAT could you possibly waiting for? Don't you deserve a lil' happiness?
  
  Please RSVP NOW
  Warm Hugs,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jen Bryant