Raven 13 part 3 - finale...finally

Raven 13 part 1
Raven 13 part 2
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Thanks to that full bottle of wine I didn't need any other liquid courage all night. We danced a bit. Met a couple of other GG/TV couples I hadn't seen there previously. Also saw a couple I had met there before. Had a brief chat with Maureen, whom I met at a previous Raven event, also had a chat with a couple where their family all know about his crossdressing for the past 6 years!!! I think that’s pretty awesome!  There were a good deal of people attending for the first time and having such a great time. I didn't have my friend there this time to take pictures so I have less than I’d like to have had. Ah well. Got to be 2am, everyone either went home or to their rooms to either sleep or party more.

The next morning we went to meet up for breakfast at the nearby Eagle Diner. There were a few people from the Raven event, at least 2 rather large tables and several smaller tables had faces I recognized from the night before. Some of the gurls were in girl mode and a few were in guy mode. Paula and I sat at one of the rather large tables surrounded by people we knew either by face or name. I sat next to an older woman I had met a few times before named Jackie. I thought Jackie was a GG supporter of T-Girls, like myself. But as I was chatting with her she mentioned herself being ‘dad’. I was floored!!! I HAD No Idea! I didn't (or at least tried) not to express my shock, in a good way. She is totally passing!!! She is also very sweet & a wiz in the kitchen. I LOVE to hear other people’s stories and she had many. Stories were told of the ex-wife (who didn't cook very well), kids and even grandkids. The grandkids know her as Aunt Jackie, which I think is cute. When they get much older and start asking questions I guess they’ll get the answers then, but for now Aunt Jackie will do. Also at our table was the Dancing Queen Linda, a few men… men…er… Men who don’t dress…I guess. Also at our table was our wonderful event host Jen!!! But…not dressed as Jen. She was in guy mode. Ok, so Paula and I were wondering what Jen looked like in guy mode. Neither of us could imagine. Actually, for a while I thought she’d already went under the knife and was full time girl but I was told that she went to work male. So my mind was kinda blown seeing her w/o boobs, wig & make-up I guess. She was still Jen. Same voice, same attitude, same zeal for life. She just looked a bit different. I saw a few others out of their girl clothes at breakfast. It was a nice time. We talked about maybe having a flag football game at another Raven weekend. That would totally be a fun thing to do, maybe a Friday afternoon in the spring or summer. We all had out meal and had a good time eating and laughing together. Then it was time to go.

The thing I like is that there are girls who go to the Raven who are at every stage of…T-Girl-ness. You have the girls Dressing and going out for the first time, girls who just like to dress up and go out who have no interest in transitioning, girls who would like to transition but because of their significant other are not. There are girls who have transitioned who are still with their spouse who are working on seeing if this life will work out for them. There are girls fully transitioned and looking for a significant other of their own, be their preference male or female…or another t-girl. I love that, though not everyone necessarily knows where everyone else is on the spectrum of things, everyone respects one another enough that no one is ever put down for being one way or another or having a gender preference etc. …Though I did hear that one girl’s spouse was disrespected by being inappropriately touched by a couple of the gurls… that totally was not cool. From what I hear this was an isolated event, I’d never been harassed in that way but I, being a natural born GG don’t go around grabbing other girls bums. It’s not cool to do to someone you hardly know.

That being said, the weekend was fun. I met new people and hope to talk to them more in the future. Next time I think I’ll see if I can gather email addys and get a conversation going that way. Maybe have a few more interviews under my belt and on to my page. It seems my 1 ‘interview with a straight crossdresser’ is the most popular post on my blog. I plan on doing a year in review for 2012 blog posting soon.

Laterz!

Raven 13 part 2

Raven 13 part 1
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I got very little sleep that night. Got up early to greet my sis when she arrived at my house. Hang out with her for a bit then we went to an early lunch (brunch) at RiverWinds in NJ. Awesome food, service & atmosphere there. I always enjoy meals there. Try the calamari, they make the absolute best!!! 

After Brunch with the sis, Paula and I stopped by a JCPennys and got a few things we needed…I think stockings were the major needed item. We also looked at the clearance jewelry. can’t remember if we got anything else. Back into the car to drive up to New Hope.

We got there…maybe around 2 or 3pm and started to get Paula ready first (as usual). I did similar makeup as the previous day but used lighter grey on the eyelids. Because of the way Paula’s dress was cut and the corset being cut the way it was, Paula’s faux boobs couldn't fit in the dress without showing through. I decided we’d try to create cleavage using make-up. I didn't have the right kind of make-up so I improvised. It didn't come out as good as expected but, looking at the pictures, it did have a bit of the desired effect. On went the corset and then the hair. Paula really like everything about the hair on the previous day so I duplicated it in a more secure way than the day before (I couldn't fine more than 2 bobby-pins on Friday). I got the hair pinned up securely with many pins. While Paula finished getting herself ready, I worked on me. I had to iron my Lehenga Choli cause…well…I didn't have it properly hanging so it was very wrinkled. I decided on wearing false eyelashes that had rhinestones on it. I said, out loud, “If these don’t stick the first time I’m not wearing them”. They must have wanted to be worn cause they went on quite easily. I used this gold make-up…stick thing (that I got from the dollar store a few months ago) on my eyes and lips. It’s the type where you can use it wet or dry. I usually use it wet. It’s more opaque when used wet, it’s more of a shimmer when dry. I didn't do much with my make-up. I bobby pinned my tikka into my hair. Pinned my hair up a bit got dressed and we got out and to the Red Carpet before it was over!!! Red carpet is from 4:30pm until 7:30pm. I think we got there around 6:45pm. We met our friend Jen and she was quite surprised to see that we actually made it out to the red carpet. We had our pictures taken on the red carpet with our friends. I…forgot to get a red carpet shot alone. Ah well. There are pictures of me sharing the spotlight with others.

I met a lovely lady there…whose name I have forgotten (Maybe Jennifer…why am I so bad w/ names???) She was tall and passing! She wondered why I was there. I told her cause I like crossdressers. She seemed quite pleased with my answer. She said she had previously believed herself to be a straight crossdresser but was recently also interested in males. She was quite interesting. She told me about how she used to wear wigs and how once the wig is on she is ‘Jennifer’. Then she decided to grow her hair out. Once there is no wig/you’re always in the wig where does ‘guy type’ stop and ‘girl type’ begin? It’s kind of perplexing. I’d love to talk to her more about her views on herself etc. I told her about my blog and wrote down my blog address…maybe I should have gotten her email? Ah well, hopefully I’ll see her again at another event and we can chat more. I ran into some other friends there. Allie came in wearing this awesome black dress with red shoes; she looked as fashionable as ever. I met another GG there who is dating a crossdresser. Her Gurl couldn’t make it that night but she still came with another friend. She made her complete outfit. The dress, which looked awesome & awesome on her, her hair accessories, the works and for the life of me…I can’t remember her name either *sigh*. I also met Lisa’s lovely lovely spouse. She was very sweet. I got to chat with her a little bit; hopefully I can chat with her more some other time. Lisa was so much happier at this Raven than the last one I saw her at. I think maybe having the love of her life there was the reason. Sometimes it’s lonely not having the one you love nearby. I can’t say for sure why she didn’t seem very happy at the last one, I didn't feel it was my place to ask, I was just glad to see her so happy at this one. After a few more pictures it was time to head over to the Raven for dinner.

We had our dinner reservations set for 7:45pm I believe. We arrived there about 7:25pm and asked if we could be seated early and we were able to. The Host there was looking awesome as usual. This evening he was wearing all white with diamond-esque embellishments on his tall white hat (kinda like the nutcracker styled only with white faux fur) and was wearing a big diamond-esque rhinestone necklace. It turns out he was a creator of costumes (awesome!). I like being crafty as well. Maybe at some point I’ll make something from scratch to wear to a Raven event. We were seated and I decided on having wine…a whole bottle of wine. When I thought about it, it was cheaper than getting several separate glasses of wine and I usually don’t change wines glass to glass. Whereas Paula…is not a drinker so…More wine for me, Whoot! After we ordered we mingled a bit with some of the girls there. Went to a few tables, made some new acquaintances, talked to a few people we had met earlier that night and the night before. At the table behind ours was a girl who was attending their first Raven event. She had a makeover by a make-up artist who often comes to make over girls who request the service. She does great work. Nikki looked great. She seemed to be enjoying herself very much. As I looked around the room I spotted a couple I had seen before who I’d only seen for dinner, usually they were leaving just after I got there (we were always running late) I wanted to talk to them… they were wearing the cutest dresses J I mentioned in my previous post about this encounter (here) finished up dinner and headed to the dance floor.
(cont. Raven 13 part 3)

Raven 13 Part 1

Ok, so I've been reallllly wordy with this post so I figured i'd break it up into bitesized chunks...you know...if you take really big bites. Also, I would have had this up days ago, but for some reason Blogspot wasn't working on Chrome (my usual browser), then I tried on FireFox and it seemed like it'd work...but no, it didn't. I'm currently using (dare I say) Internet Explorer *shudder*
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I went to the Raven 13 party on the weekend of Jan 12-14 and had fun as usual. It’s a free event and all T-girls & admirers are invited. This time I made all of the events!!! A first for me, yay!

Here is how the schedule of events usually goes: Friday is the Meet & Greet. Starts about 7:45pm and goes till 2am. Most don’t stay till 2. It’s at a bar& grill, near the Raven. Then around midnight, whoever is up for it goes over to the Raven for some dancing. On Saturday some of the girls meet up in New Hope for Shopping early in the day then get ready for the Red carpet shoot, across the street from the Raven. That starts at 4:30pm and goes till about 7:30pm. Starting at 7pm at the Raven is Dinner. Dinner is optional (not free where as the rest of the events are free) goes till about 9pm. Then the much awaited Dance Party starts at 9 at the Raven on their dance floor. That goes till 2am. The next morning about 10-20 of the attendees go to breakfast at the nearby Eagle Diner as a nice end to a nice weekend. Here is how the weekend got going for me.

On Friday I spent a couple hours honing my make-up artistry skills on Paula’s face. I am getting quite good, if I do say so myself. I applied most of the make-up. (click here for details of what I did on Paula's face)**Then I had Paula apply the Mascara. A bit of blush, some red lipstick & Paula’s face is ready. Next into the brand New Corset Paula got from Corset Story, pulled in nice and tight so Paula had a very nice Hourglass figure. Then on with the rest of Paula’s shirts…I think Paula was triple layered that day. Corset, Shirt, Sweater/jacket-y…thing with a belt around that. Next on with the wig. A while ago, I think for the Raven 12 party, Paula got a curly ponytail to attach to the wig. It looked really cute to the side as it was. This time we did something different with the ponytail. We made the wig & ponytail look kinda like a bumped up hair style. I put the ponytail just a little behind the bangs. Pulled some hair around it and pinned it into place. A while ago Paula was talking about wanting the hair up and we figured that’s be a bit time consuming and couldn’t do it in time for this raven event. Well, once Paula saw how her hair looked like that, she was sooooo happy!! It was exactly how she’d imagined it!!!. Awesome again! I put a lil black tiara in her hair around the bump and Paula looked like a princess!

We were running a bit late for the Friday Meet & Greet (as usual) So I did about 5 minutes worth of make-up on myself, pretty much just liner, mascara, concealer. Put on my dress, found a pair of shoes& out of the house we went. I didn’t even do my lips till be were outside the meet & greet. We got there after 8pm...maybe 8:30-ish. Went in saw a few friends we had met previous times. Jen (the party planner that made it all happen) Chelle & Reena was there. Plus many others we’d met previously (not all whose names I remember…yeah…I’m horrible with names, sorry girls) I ordered a drink, Amaretto Sour, one of my fav’s. …They…did not make it correctly…at all…it was horrible. I took 2 sips and had to take it back and had them make me something else. I don’t know what she made, but it was good. J I ordered food cause I didn't have time to feed myself before leaving my house. I can’t even remember what I ate, but it was good J. Meanwhile Paula went around meeting some new people. I also went around after a few minutes…it took me forever to decide what to eat. I met some girls who were at the Raven for the first time, (this was my 3^rd time) They all seemed really excited. I met another lady who sells Avon as well. She’s been doing it for a year where as I have only been for a few months. I remember one person I met is named Destiny…cause I have a lil cousin with that name so it was easy to remember that one. There is a girl there that is always dancing. She is a dancing diva!!! Every time I see her dancing I swear she must have been a cheerleader in a former life. I believe her name is Linda. I talked to her about it; she says she feels like she’s performing when she dances. She certainly looks like she’s performing; she gets my stamp of approval. J I took a few pictures and was in a few as well. We headed over to the Raven for a little bit but left early. In a few hours my sister would be touching down at the Philly airport from California. So off we went back to my house so I could await my sister’s arrival. Unfortunately, Paula started feeling ill. I think we stopped for some Dayquil on the way back which Paula started consuming.

photobucket.com/raven13party

(cont. Part 2 & Part 3)

Happy New Year 2013!

I hope as 2012 leaves we can leave behind all of the bad feelings and thoughts that may have brought you down over the past year and 2013 will be a new beginning of good thoughts & good feelings. I hope you will be able to dress how you like and be proud of who you are inside and out. I hope acceptance of how you like to dress will be embraced. I have high hopes for 2013. I hope you all have a really great and prosperous new year!

Love,

Pirate Pebbs

CDs Dates and Dating Websites

So I got a message from a CD who mentioned that he lets girls know that he CDs before he meets them offline and that because of that there usually is no first date. While I feel it is important to let the person you want to date know in advance so there is not a misunderstanding down the road...it may not be the best idea to let them know before you meet in person. Below is some advice I gave him.


*Small piece of advice.* You don't have to say anything about CD-ing before the first date. I mean, you at least wanna see if there is any mutual attraction offline, right? I mean if you don't like her offline, what's the use of telling her, eh? She may have friends on here [*here being OkCupid] and 'warn them' about you [*i know i've warned one or two of my friends about creepers]. Maybe after the 2nd or 3rd date let her know. So she sees your personality and knows that it's 'worth it' to know both sides of you. Some girls are more willing to accept, or at least try it out if they realize they really like you. Otherwise...well...they may just think you're a pervy freak. I'm just telling you this cause, I realllllllly want you to succeed in finding a GF. I...am not the typical straight female... Unfortunatly not all girl know they're in to dudes who are...so in touch with their feminine side. I hope more of them will read my blog and give guys like you a chance. I've been spreading the news as best I can but...I can only reach but so many within my contacts. Another suggestion. If you do what I say above and you do like them enough to let them know about the other side of you, send them a link to my site. Maybe the one about the advantages of dating a CD. It might help.


On dating sites that are not targeted towards crossdressers... most crossdressers are incognito. They generally don't out themselves (i say generally because i have seen a few on the sites that are fine with posting their CD pics and talking about their CD nature on there) Besides, most CDs that I know are closeted anyway. The choices for hot chicks are better on those sites as well. From what I hear, GGs on the crossdresser dating sites are sparse & among the few on there, very few that are 'Hot'. (the getting must be pretty low if i'm considered among the hot! lol, I kid) Besides, i'm sure most girls, even if they are in to cross dressers have no idea about the crossdresser dating sites. Even if they did, most are paid sites masquerading as free sites.  (you have to cleverly hide your contact info and hope that the reader figures out how to contact you...you know...and stop sending you messages that you can't read. They should just give me a free full membership!!! *ahem*) 


There are many girls that Love drag queens with shows like RuPaul's Drag Race & Drag U. I think many of them see the contestants/professors on those shows and might be receptive to a CD if properly presented. I just did a search for RuPaul on a dating site and found that a lot of straight females watch the show...might be a good icebreaker to feel out if they may be receptive...or curious. I only found crossdresser dating sites about a year ago. I think I will link the sites I am on here and if anyone here finds me feel free to find my messenger info on there and drop me a line and say Hi!


These sites are apparently owned by the same company and if you signed up with one, you can sign into both...weird.


http://www.crossdressing.com/
http://www.dateacrossdresser.com/


These 2 sites I think are associated with each other... not 100% sure, but you can actually message people on the site below...i think they have to have a paid membership for you to chat with them.
http://www.meetlocalcrossdressers.com/


http://www.cdmeet.com/

There is always Meetup.com. The Philadelphia group I am in is below. It's not really a dating site, but some people kinda use it that way. :)

http://www.meetup.com/patgirls/

I think that is all the info and advise i have to offer for the moment. I may add to it as i see fit.

Until next time....(i really need to think up an ending catch phrase, lol)

Pebbles

How to 'PASS', Guaranteed!!!

Lisa Empanada

The following post is not My Original content, but is used with permission of, and from the perspective of, Lisa Empanada. She is a transgender woman living in Philadelphia, PA. I saw her post on a Meet-Up group that we are both members of. When I read it I had to ask her if I could re-post it here for all of you who are having trouble with Passing. Again this is from Lisa's Perspective which is a perspective that I will never truly know being that I'm a Genetic Girl and don't have to deal with such problems.  Enjoy!
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Lisa:
Who here wants to pass? Yeah, yeah... you heard me right. I am going to GUARANTEE that you will pass. Just bare with me as we try to figure out what passing really means.

Ok, lets get started... Who here has a masculine build? *Lisa's hand goes up.*

Who here is too tall? *Lisa's hand goes up again.*

Who here has a not so feminine voice? *Lisa's hand goes up. Thankful that her hand is speaking for her.*

Who here has big hands, man hands? *Lisa starts to raise her hand, but self consciously leaves it in her lap and in her baritone voice yells out..."HEY! No fair Lisa you are picking on me!"*

So is it true that Lisa can't 'pass' in public? (after that question I am betting my dance card becomes less full) In fact a lot of us girls who say we are passable probably would find many who disagree. Would I write 'passable' in my profile? No, I would say that I am sexy (a state of mind, a projection) I can be beautiful (again a state of mind, a projection) And I would say I am definitely feminine (which is certainly a state of mind and projection)

Sexy, Beautiful, Feminine all traits commonly applied to woman but not traits that all woman apply. So by now you can see where I am going with this. The question is why do you feel you don't pass in public. Do you see yourself as a man in a dress or are you fearful that this is how others will see you? Are you preoccupied with worrying if you have been 'read'? Chances are these are causing you not to pass.

When someone feels that they do not pass its because they feel like they look out of place, unnatural to their surroundings. Looking exactly like a woman is something you can't control, either you have it, or like me, you don't. But you do have control over looking out of place and appearing unnatural. Its all in the projection.

First off mannerisms. We can all, with practice, walk, sit, move, smile, flirt, gesture and in general act exactly like genetic woman. If you come plodding into a club, like some Neanderthal in heels way too high, as if you are trying to carry an invisible watermelon between your thighs, chances are you'll look unnatural, not only to your surroundings but to who you are. There is a flow and a grace to woman. A grace that can only be accomplished through practice and attitude. You must act and think like who you are is what you should be. Others will hear with their eyes what you are trying to say about yourself.
Feeling and acting natural is all that really matters. So right now half the readers are screaming... Rip Off! We want our money back! No Fair! ....Alright now, calm down missy, and cross those legs by the way. I am serious here.

If you want to look out of place then all you have to do is to act in a way that supports that visual. If you subconsciously look down and away and your body language projects insecurity and doubt, most people will look at you and not think Why is that man in a dress?.... but more accurately... Why is that person so uncomfortable in their own skin? Its less likely that they will wonder why you are there, but more likely they will wonder why you didn't keep your insecure flat @$$ home.

When a woman walks into the room she should do so with confidence (not to be mistaken for being flamboyant). If how you look and how you act seems the most natural thing to you and you smile and enjoy the fact that you are where you belong, most people will see that energy and respect your comfort. They certainly won't feel sorry for you. They rightfully will conclude that any prejudices that they may chose to inflict upon you will be a total waste of their time.

Simply put passing in public is acting and feeling natural in your surroundings. Dress as most people around you are dressed, Act according to your environment. If you believe you belong where you are, then so will others. Refine your femininity and project the inside outside you'll live it and they'll get it, trust me.
So passing is all about projecting who you are...with confidence. Am I a genetic woman? NO! I am a Transwoman and I pass as such. We all should be proud of who we are.

"But Lisa, I'm a just a crossdresser and I love club wear and exotic wear, I'll never pass...right?"

No! WRONG! You are not 'JUST' anything. You are 'ALSO' which makes you 'more than', which should be looked at as a huge plus. And besides that you will pass as a person who celebrates his/her freedom. You will pass as someone who is not beholden to the expectations of others. You WILL pass as a spirited individual if you are not afraid to let your spirit shine.

There it is ...that is how we PASS. We proudly present ourselves for who we are and that will get us a passing grade every time. Ooh one more thing, if you are peeing standing up that's not passing and that's not peeing, That's pissing and only guys take a piss. You get a big fat incomplete in this course and have to start over. Girls 'pee' or 'tinkle' and always remember you are a girl, sit while you pee but if you 'wipe' yourself afterward give yourself extra girlie points for taking passing to extremes...lol.

Good Luck and get out there Girls!

How to Impress a GG with your pictures

Ok, as I have said many times, I am a member of a few different dating websites, some of which are crossdresser dating sites. I have seen and been sent many pictures of crossdressers doing their thing. But...how do I say this... not all of the photos are pictures that would ...impress a GG* looking for a CD* BF* (i use a lot of abbreviations in here, don't i?). So I am going to give you a few tips. Cause, you see, a GG may not want to just see a headless set of boobs on an impressive or less than impressive body. Most GG's wanna see a face on that body. And that face should at least try to look pretty. (now if you're trying to impress another man that is a different story and being that i am not a man...i can't tell you how that kind of pic would go over)

Do: Shave. Before you take your pic, make sure you are clean shaven. No stubble, no facial hair that isn't brows or lashes.
Do: Apply Make up. Even the noobist noob can put on lipstick and mascara. If you feel embarrassed to buy it from the store, buy it online. There are many tutorials on how to apply make up for all shades of people on Youtube. It is an excellent resource for Girls and Gurls alike!
Do: Wear a Wig. Unless you have long hair. If not, at least style your hair in a girlish manner. Maybe some hair accessories or something. Hair does matter.
Do: Invest in a tripod and camera with a timer feature. I am not a fan of mirror shots. Mirror type pics...I just tolerate only because I know that a lot of lovely CD's don't have someone else to take their pics for them. But if they can get a $10 tripod from Walmart (possibly cheaper from craigslist or ebay) and they have access to a camera, most of which these days have a timer feature. If you could save $50 you could get a decent camera second hand from craigslist, ebay, or a new, but probably kinda crappy one from Big Lots or maybe even Walmart as well. With about $60 investment you could take nice self portraits. Cellphones are only good for face shots, for the most part. You can do a full body shot if you have a smartphone that has a timer feature if you prop up your phone.

Those pictures were taken with my smartphone's timer feature with the phone propped up in my closet. Not the prettiest pics (or the prettiest bedroom sorry took those pics months ago), to say the least, but you have full body and 3/4's body pics and a few minutes with trial and error. I do realize not everyone has a smartphone at their disposal. 

With a regular cellphone w/camera you can at least take a good head shot with some practice (the following works with hand held camera or cellphone camera): 

Hold the camera in your right hand and hold the camera slightly above your head pointed down at your face. Hold steady and hold your finger on the trigger. Wait a second or two before lowering your hand to look at your pic. It takes practice, but you can do it.

Do Not: Send headless pictures. If you're emailing pics, it means she wants to see your face so don't cut it off. Unless it's a case where you're sending more than one pic and at least one of them has your full face in view and the cut off pics are posed well.

Do Not: Send naked/NWS* pictures, unless you ask if it's ok first. You don't know who is around when they're opening their email. They may have a child on their lap while they check their email. just not a good idea unless you've asked first or at least put NWS in the subject header so she knows to open it when she's alone. (i know i've had some close calls not knowing what would be in my email)

So, yeah, Long story short. Send a polished (or as polished as your abilities) picture of yourself crossdressed. If you have no cd pics, send a nice looking/non blurry male picture of yourself. A nice looking male pic will go further than a blurry bad looking male pic, a half-hearted cd pic or no pic at all.

I may add to this list at a later time. These are all just my opinion being a Straight GG who likes CDs.

*CD= Crossdresser, GG= Genetic Girl, BF= Boyfriend, NWS= Not Work Safe