International Women's Day 2013

Today I think of all the women making a difference in this world. First I thought of was the head of the Gulabi Gang of India, Sampat Pal. She is making a huge difference for women and families in India. She is a strong women who has helped other women find their strength. One of my friends is reading about the autobiography of Fawzia Koofi, the exceptional woman who is running to be the next president of Afghanistan. I read earlier today a little about Ellen Johnson Sirleaf,  the 24th and current President of Liberia.

I'm also thinking of my Trans-Women friends who are helping their other trans-women friends find their voices. I know so many lovely ladies who I have met through the meet-up group I belong to who are so inspirational. Lisa Empanada, who I've borrowed an entry from before and posted here. Also Jenn Bryant who organizes parties, like the Raven Events. Also I'm a big fan of Reena, Val, Allie...there are so many women who should be saluted. (just because they were born with a few extra pieces of equipment doesn't mean they are not exceptional women).

There are also the women that make a difference in people's every day lives. The moms, the sisters, the Teachers, the bus drivers the healthcare workers...maybe even the bloggers.

um...i think that's all i have to say about that. Happy Women's Day!

Raven 12 - Utopian Weekend 10-10-12

2 weekends ago was the 12th Raven event Hosted by Jen Bryant at The Raven which has an Award Winning Restaurant with a Bar & Club. This was my 3rd visit to a Raven event. Original plan was to stay for the whole weekend but it turned out that my weekend was kinda double booked (would have been triple booked if i'd attempted to go to Phil-Con which I realized I couldn't do). At Raven 11 Paula and I Went to the Saturday Dinner & Dance Party and Sunday morning Breakfast at the Eagle Diner. This time we went to Sliders Bar & Grill on Friday night...Fashionably late (as usual...it takes forever for Paula to get ready) While there we met up with some familiar faces and made a few new friends. I got some yummy food from the bar (and a few drinks) everything was pretty good. We had some pretty awesome discussions as well. We had a discussion with Lisa Empanada (guest writer of this post) about Straight crossdressers. ...Ok...It kinda came up due to a major Faux-Pas which I committed. I mistakenly referred to Paula in the masculine. Something I never do when referring to her online...you know...where I can edit myself when I make a mistake... The thing is, I usually see Paula in guy mode. Also Paula doesn't care if she is referred to in the masculine or feminine. Also knowing we were in the company of ‘like’ individuals I guess I was a lil more lax. I think it has to do with the divide of not really feeling like a girl but enjoying her feminine side. Well...most of it was Lisa asking Paula questions about straight crossdressers. Lisa is a trans-Girl. She identifies as female and doesn't really 'get' people like Paula who...are fine living their male lives but also like to indulge their feminine urges. It was quite interesting hearing the uber masculine things Lisa did before she became Lisa.

I was also surprised...the whole weekend how many of the Gurls were married to women. I was told by one that she considered herself a Trans-Lesbian. She believes if she were born female she'd still be attracted to women. More of the girls were married to women than I expected. I was kinda surprised  I think I'd just grouped trans-lesbians with straight crossdressers...but...I guess technically that's not true even though..I guess physically it's true. I'd always thought to myself that if I were born male that I'd be attracted to females but I was born female and am attracted to males...but I lean towards pretty/androgynous males...or males that dress like females...that look like hot chix when dressed en-fem. :D 

While we were there I told Paula, "Ok, I didn't really plan on coming tonight. I came because you wanted to come. This is a meet & great, so...go meet someone new and make friends." So I had Paula lead the way & I followed. Paula walked up to a gurl neither of us had met before & introduced herself. Her name was Charlene...or was it Charlize  It turns out that she was there because we were there. She is on the same meet-up group that we are in. She noticed that a majority of the girls on the group are way older than us but that Paula and I were around her age. That gave her confidence to come out. (Whoot!) She & Paula exchanged email addys and we all made tentative plans to hang out and see a movie. We hung out with her most the rest of the night. There were a few photo sessions that happened. Jen was posing on a pool table and other girls joined in posing on the pool tables. Even Paula joined in. I took a few shots of Paula on the pool table. Then we took a few shots in the foyer. Then the party continued at The Raven’s dance floor. Our new friend took some pics of Paula & I on the dance floor. I took a lot of pics of our new friend with her camera as well all night. She wasn't ready to have any pics taken by any camera but her own.  We left around 1:30-ish AM and picked up my good friend Jerome from a karaoke party that I couldn't attend due to the meet & greet. He was my stand in for the night with my karaoke host Dr. Thunder (yes we also do parties). We had a sleepover at my house where I got a little sleep.

I woke up a few hours later on Saturday morning. I had a religious assembly to attend from 9am-4pm. Went there and got back to my place around 5pm. Paula had already started getting ready. Jerome was just about ready. I got the rest of Paula’s make-up on her after I finished up the corset that we’d started on Friday (which I didn't mention earlier. Made another duck tape corset, this time w/boning. Paula lost a good deal of weight since we made the first one and it no longer fit properly.) I needed to put/hammer the eyelets into the corset that was nearly permanently attached to Paula the night before (I cut it off of Paula before I went to sleep). I also had to take in Paula’s red dress, she had gotten it online and it was bigger than expected. My mom helped with that by pinning it while on Paula so that I could sew it when I was finished with the corset (yes my mom is also cool with CD’s). I got myself together as quickly as I could. I wore a women’s pinstriped suit with a Black & Gold tie, and we were off. We got there…I think around 7:30PM. We were seated by the fire. Jen’s Official Photographer took a few pictures of us. We got/ate our delicious meals. I had a Manly Meal of Ravioli…Jerome had Chicken cordon blu and Paula had a chicken salad…she couldn't eat much in that corset. We saw some familiar faces from our seats as well. After we were done eating it was time to Party!

I handed the camera duties to my good friend Jerome while I go touch up my make up in the ladies room where I met another lovely lady who is married to a woman. She says when she’s dressed as a girl she feels like a girl. When she’s dressed as a man she feels like a man. I think she said she considers herself a trans-lesbian. I put on my lip color and I was off to dance & have a good time w/o having to worry about taking pics, yay! But, of course…I was a bit shy to start dancing right away…this looks like a job for Liquid Courage!!! Had a bit o’ booze. And did a bit o’ dancing mostly w/ Paula. We met up with our friend from the night before, Charlize (I really need to ask her how she spells her name), and the 3 of us danced a bit. We put what few flyers I had for my blog in Jeromes hat. Looked like a press hat after that. And he was off taking pictures of just about everyone there. At some point I met up with one of my online friends that had come to the previous Raven event but I couldn't find on that day. I saw the many tattoos and saw the face and it was them!!! Chris & her Fiancee, 2 beautiful blondes, I had to get pics with them. I planned on meeting up with them again later but, alas, t’was not to be. I also saw a GG I had chatted with at Raven 11, Maureen, was nice to see her there again & it’s so great that she supports her husband’s crossdressing! I went outside a few times; it was a bit chilly, I was so glad I had decided to wear pants at this Raven event. I sat with Paula and met a new gurl there. I think another Straight CD. We had a nice conversation which I mostly forgot cause I’d been drinking. (I really need to keep a notebook with me at these events so I could write down names and key things to remember.) Jen came and then…and then… I called Lisa, Jen. I’d have been wayyyyyy embarrassed if I were sober (but had I been sober I wouldn’t have made that mistake) But after my sincere apologies and praising her for her grace & beauty she forgave me and came over to have a picture with me. (wow…I had been rubbing Lisa the wrong way a bit too much that weekend) Unfortunately my camera started to act up around that time (I found out later that it was my external flash) so pics from about that time to the end of the night were half blacked out. Thankfully it happened at the end, instead of the beginning of the night. At the end of the night we all drove back to my place because staying locally for the night could get quite pricey. It would have been nice to stay closer and go out to breakfast w/ everyone but…maybe next time. It seemed like everyone had fun.

Raven 12 Pics

Jen Bryant's Fall Fantasy (Raven 11)

Paula & I Plan on attending our 2nd outing to this CD/TV/TS/(insert preferred acronym here) & Admirers event in a CD friendly town. The first one we went to I posted about Raven 10. We had a Blast! I also met a few people who read this blog (Awesome!). If all goes well I will be at this one in the dress I talked about in the previous post (in its soon to be altered state). Last time I was there my guest contributor Lisa Empanada was there as well. I hope to see you there! I shouldn't be too hard to recognize. I'll most likely have a camera in my hand most of the time. 

(Copied from the event posting from Meet-Up group T-Girls United) 

Jen Bryant's Fall Fantasy (Raven 11)

• 
  

  Saturday, September 22, 2012

  9:45 PM
• The Raven

  385 West Bridge Street, New Hope, PA

  
  

  You couldn't miss us if you tried

  
  
• Yes Raven 10 is over, and I hope that everyone has finally recovered and gotten on with there lives...I know that for me it was really hard going back to the real world after spending 3 days surrounded by the most amazing group of people one could ever meet. As one friend put it...it was surreal...so many smiles...so many good vibes...and mostly so much kindness shown towards one another. This was not an event my friends...it was more like the beginning of a movement. We were seen at swimming in the pool, we were seen at McDonald's, we were seen at the Diner, we were seen throughout Main street...yes my friends we were seen!!!...we took over Sliders (so called straight bar)...straight bar my ass...we owned it!!!...yes, we were seen, but not only that, we showed a whole community how beautiful we are. We show respect and ask nothing but the same...we smile at others and now find we get smiles in return. Surreal?...yeah for sure...but here's the thing...get used to it, New Hope looks forward to our events now, and the next event will be bigger and better than any other. Sooooooooo many plans are being worked on and will be announced as we get closer to the date. So, that being said, I am pleased to announce The Fall Fantasy (Raven 11) will be held on September 22nd at the Raven Resort. If possible try and come out Friday night as well. For those of you that have attended in the past, please try and make it, YOU are part of something great, and for those that have not yet attended, WHAT could you possibly waiting for? Don't you deserve a lil' happiness?
  
  Please RSVP NOW
  Warm Hugs,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jen Bryant

Raven 10, Paula's first CD night out!

This is Paula's point of view of Raven 10.

Even though I knew when Pebbles and I went shopping (also see CD Shopping Day part 2) that we were planning on going to this party, It didn't really feel real until I found myself standing outside all dressed up. Getting ready was awesome as Pebbles helped me out with everything especially the corset. I think she likes torturing me a little bit :). Then she took care of my makeup and nails. I'd never had long nails before and I guess it's something you have to get used to. I quickly realized, the long nails made it hard for me to do just about anything with my hands. Between the corset keeping me from bending and the fact that i'm not super good in high heels, I was totally helpless, but Pebbles looked after me :).

Stepping outside was a total first for me. I knew this was the part I was going to get most nervous. I'd never been outside dressed up before. You'll probably hear that alot from my posts though since so much of this is firsts for me. I could feel my heart racing when we stepped through the front door. I know the area was pretty quiet since it was early and no one was around but I felt panicked anyway. Then we got to the car and the keys were still inside the house. I don't think I was able to calm down until we were sitting in the car. Once we were sitting in the car and on the road I felt fine again.

The ride was pretty fun though. We got to listen to some good music and I had a moment where I realized the duality of my existence as I was explaining why I like UFC better than boxing while I was wearing a pink dress and high heels. Once we reached the Raven we went inside to the dining area and I felt really comfortable there were so many people dressed up and I got to meet Jennifer Bryant and Lisa Empanada right away, they were both really friendly. I introduced myself to them as Paul at first... okay i'll admit a rookie mistake but I've been introducing myself that way for 31 years... They didn't give me too hard of a time about it though :)

The only problem was that there wasn't anywhere for us to sit inside and eat with the others. So we went to sit and eat outside, but there weren't any other cd's out there so I started to feel a little exposed though, I probably would have chickened out if not for Pebbles but it was cool and everyone was really polite. A drag queen who wasn't dressed up time came over and helped out with my wig a little bit. Once we finished eating we went inside and hit the dance floor. It was fun being around everyone. I think I described it to Lisa when she asked about me dancing that i'm a bad dancer normally and that adding a dress and heels doesn't make me better. :) Still had fun though and got to spend a good while dancing with Pebbles, as long as I was getting to dance with her I wasn't really focused on whether i'm a great dancer or not :)

We took a quick trip out to the car to get Kandice a water bottle and I finally surrendered to the feet and went barefoot most of the rest of the night. That was a new record though for me, i've never worn heels for that long.

It was totally an awesome night I got to be dressed up all night, meet alot of great people, dance with a gorgeous girl, and even got a really nice kiss good night. Can't think of a much better night than that. I cant wait for the next party on 9/22, hope that we're able to make it and get to see everyone again :)

Raven 10

On Saturday last week I attended Raven 10 with my friend
Kandice & the lovely CD that I took shopping, Paula. Paula picked up Kandice up from her brothers house and headed to my house. Once there Paula went about prepping her face for the make-up. Next I showed Paula the necklace I put together for her (we also made clip on earrings on a previous occasion). I did a little bit of last minute shopping on my way home from work and got Paula a large heart shaped ring that went well with the necklace she was wearing. (I got stockings for myself)
The ring was a lil small so I used my jewelry crafty skills to make it fit better. Next I painted her toenails a silver color I had sitting around. I...am not a makeup artist, but I tried my best and applied some makeup to Paula's face. Next on with the corset that we made a few weeks back. (When I saw him last I demonstrated how to put on a corset without assistance) I pulled it nice and tight. She's not quite ready to do it on her own. Next on with the dress, wig & accessories. Paula wore her pink shoes to accent her pink dress perfectly. We left the house a little later than planned (so we missed the red carpet). Now was the part that made our dear Paula the most nervous... Actually leaving the house for the first time fully dressed and made up as a girl! So, I ushered everyone out of the house and realized I left the keys in my house. This made Paula more nervous because she had to stand outside my car (with Kandice) and wait a minute or 2 for me to grab the keys and get back outside. Fortunatly for him, my neighborhood was dead. No one was outside at all. Once we were in the car Paula felt much more at ease. Next a 1.5 hour drive to New Hope. We got there at about 7:30pm. We put our lipstick on, put everything we needed in my bag and got out of the car. We got inside Raven and looked around for the dining room. It was quite crouded in there. We walked around the dining room looking for 3 seats together. While looking I spotted Lisa, my guest blogger who wrote How to 'PASS', Guaranteed!!!. I also spotted the event organizer Jennifer Bryant. I introduced Lisa to Paula and Kandice. Lisa and Paula exchanged a few words and we were off to look for seating again.

We couldn't find any in the main hall, so we were invited to sit out in the outside seating area.  There weren't any other cross dressers out there, but the weather was nice and we were all together...so we dealt with it.  We ordered some appetizers, wine, and soda for Paula (because she was our designated driver.)  Eventually another person sitting at another table came to talk to us.  It turns out he was a drag queen and didn't know that the Raven event was happening that night.  The drag queen guy teased Paula's hair with a fork to make it less wig-like. After we finished eating we went back to the main restaurant and then to the dance floor.  We found a seat and put down our cameras and bags.  Kandice started belly dancing, mostly to an empty floor and showing everyone up.  I started taking some pictures outside, mingling, met a few people and gave my cards out to those people.  Went back in and did a little dancing myself.  Went out to the car and got some water, went back in...more mingling more dancing...etc.  Finally got my picture with Lisa though!  Took pictures with and of a few other people, some who read my blog.  Chatted with Rena, who was starting to read my blog a few weeks ago and was commending me on my work for the community.  Reena was talking about life, etc.  Had so many kind words about my blog that night that I truly felt appreciated, and that my blog actually means something.  I'm just glad that my words are not useless.  If nothing else they make people feel good :)  Eventually it was over and we had to go.  I didn't get to meet my friend that I planned on meeting, maybe I'll see him another time.  Thankfully I didn't have to drive home because frankly...I didn't feel like it.  Paula drove home and Kandice slept in the back of the seat.  Came back to my house, everyone passed out after that.  The end! (ok...i might add to it...eventually...like more details...sleepy time)

How to 'PASS', Guaranteed!!!

Lisa Empanada

The following post is not My Original content, but is used with permission of, and from the perspective of, Lisa Empanada. She is a transgender woman living in Philadelphia, PA. I saw her post on a Meet-Up group that we are both members of. When I read it I had to ask her if I could re-post it here for all of you who are having trouble with Passing. Again this is from Lisa's Perspective which is a perspective that I will never truly know being that I'm a Genetic Girl and don't have to deal with such problems.  Enjoy!
**********************************************************************************************
Lisa:
Who here wants to pass? Yeah, yeah... you heard me right. I am going to GUARANTEE that you will pass. Just bare with me as we try to figure out what passing really means.

Ok, lets get started... Who here has a masculine build? *Lisa's hand goes up.*

Who here is too tall? *Lisa's hand goes up again.*

Who here has a not so feminine voice? *Lisa's hand goes up. Thankful that her hand is speaking for her.*

Who here has big hands, man hands? *Lisa starts to raise her hand, but self consciously leaves it in her lap and in her baritone voice yells out..."HEY! No fair Lisa you are picking on me!"*

So is it true that Lisa can't 'pass' in public? (after that question I am betting my dance card becomes less full) In fact a lot of us girls who say we are passable probably would find many who disagree. Would I write 'passable' in my profile? No, I would say that I am sexy (a state of mind, a projection) I can be beautiful (again a state of mind, a projection) And I would say I am definitely feminine (which is certainly a state of mind and projection)

Sexy, Beautiful, Feminine all traits commonly applied to woman but not traits that all woman apply. So by now you can see where I am going with this. The question is why do you feel you don't pass in public. Do you see yourself as a man in a dress or are you fearful that this is how others will see you? Are you preoccupied with worrying if you have been 'read'? Chances are these are causing you not to pass.

When someone feels that they do not pass its because they feel like they look out of place, unnatural to their surroundings. Looking exactly like a woman is something you can't control, either you have it, or like me, you don't. But you do have control over looking out of place and appearing unnatural. Its all in the projection.

First off mannerisms. We can all, with practice, walk, sit, move, smile, flirt, gesture and in general act exactly like genetic woman. If you come plodding into a club, like some Neanderthal in heels way too high, as if you are trying to carry an invisible watermelon between your thighs, chances are you'll look unnatural, not only to your surroundings but to who you are. There is a flow and a grace to woman. A grace that can only be accomplished through practice and attitude. You must act and think like who you are is what you should be. Others will hear with their eyes what you are trying to say about yourself.
Feeling and acting natural is all that really matters. So right now half the readers are screaming... Rip Off! We want our money back! No Fair! ....Alright now, calm down missy, and cross those legs by the way. I am serious here.

If you want to look out of place then all you have to do is to act in a way that supports that visual. If you subconsciously look down and away and your body language projects insecurity and doubt, most people will look at you and not think Why is that man in a dress?.... but more accurately... Why is that person so uncomfortable in their own skin? Its less likely that they will wonder why you are there, but more likely they will wonder why you didn't keep your insecure flat @$$ home.

When a woman walks into the room she should do so with confidence (not to be mistaken for being flamboyant). If how you look and how you act seems the most natural thing to you and you smile and enjoy the fact that you are where you belong, most people will see that energy and respect your comfort. They certainly won't feel sorry for you. They rightfully will conclude that any prejudices that they may chose to inflict upon you will be a total waste of their time.

Simply put passing in public is acting and feeling natural in your surroundings. Dress as most people around you are dressed, Act according to your environment. If you believe you belong where you are, then so will others. Refine your femininity and project the inside outside you'll live it and they'll get it, trust me.
So passing is all about projecting who you are...with confidence. Am I a genetic woman? NO! I am a Transwoman and I pass as such. We all should be proud of who we are.

"But Lisa, I'm a just a crossdresser and I love club wear and exotic wear, I'll never pass...right?"

No! WRONG! You are not 'JUST' anything. You are 'ALSO' which makes you 'more than', which should be looked at as a huge plus. And besides that you will pass as a person who celebrates his/her freedom. You will pass as someone who is not beholden to the expectations of others. You WILL pass as a spirited individual if you are not afraid to let your spirit shine.

There it is ...that is how we PASS. We proudly present ourselves for who we are and that will get us a passing grade every time. Ooh one more thing, if you are peeing standing up that's not passing and that's not peeing, That's pissing and only guys take a piss. You get a big fat incomplete in this course and have to start over. Girls 'pee' or 'tinkle' and always remember you are a girl, sit while you pee but if you 'wipe' yourself afterward give yourself extra girlie points for taking passing to extremes...lol.

Good Luck and get out there Girls!