Convo with a CD friend #1 of Many

I was talking to one of my Crossdressing friends the other day. We were talking about clothes, dressing, relationships and such. At some point she says,

*”You are very out there, why can't I be someone like that, loyal and honest and don't care [about what others think about you]?’

My Response: It takes a bit of...well...getting over yourself. I got over myself. Embarrassing things are gonna happen, people are gonna not like some things you do. People are gonna try to put you down, question is...how do you feel about you? Do you like what you do? Do you like who you are?

People come and go, you will be with you all of your life. You should take care of the inner you. The inner you wants to be happy. The inner you likes to dress a certain way and act a certain way. The inner you may want to look different every day. The inner you may wanna dress the same way for a week then totally change up. If you're with someone who can't deal with you being you...well...I don't see how making your inner self sad to make someone else happy will keep you happy for too long.

That was spewed out in the middle of the night when my friend was sleep. Later she responded:

“Wow Pebbles, You just broke it down, But you are right.  I see what you are saying, WE are some [of the] good men out there. Just because we want to dress like a woman doesn't mean we want to be with one or be gay or bi or anything like that.”

Me: Nearly all if not all of the CD dudes I chat with are really nice people & really 'good' guys. If a GG wants to be treated 'right' I highly recommend a CD. If the GG can get over themselves maybe they can find happiness in the arms of someone who just Might look better than them occasionally, lol. A lot of people don't get over themselves till they are way old. You don't see (some)old ladies not doing stuff or saying stuff just cause it might be embarrassing... life is too short to dwell on dumb stuff!

Later, We were discussing relationships again and the GG my CD friend is dating.

Me: I wanna say something which may come off pretty... 'guy-ish' and I'm not talkin’ nice guy... Here it goes. If you think she is your One, you should find a way to tell her you like to dress. If she's not...well...are you ready to drop her in a minute if you do find your 'one' who is fine with who you are?

I totally understand companionship. I didn't like being alone [when I was single].

Their response: ‘Well she’s somewhat one, but what is the one?... I'm 35 years old I don't know what to believe in that aspect. I would think the one would have come by now.

Me: So many of my CD/TG friends are with people who don't like a very real part of them...the emotional turmoil they go through because of it is really heartbreaking!

I had a friend show his girlfriend a picture of him en femme to come out to her. She thought he was really cute. They continued to date for a while, eventually they broke up, but not because of his dressing.

I wish I could talk to all the 'girlfriends that don't know' and ease them into the thought of it. CD guys (in my opinion) are just sooooo much easier to deal with than 'regular' guys. You Know what their major quirk is, that secret is gone! If you can deal with that, everything else will be a breeze to get through! And if you tell her & it doesn't work [or she thinks she can’t deal with it], well, you didn't invest TOO much time in a relationship that wouldn't work out in the end anyway

Why is a CD guys so much easier?

Me: More in touch with their feminine side...for example. [Some] Ladies sometimes (or all the times) wanna get their hair/nails etc done, right?

Yes they do.

Me: My ex hubby didn't understand that and to him it was kinda wasted money...his mom had to talk to him about that.

Oh yes we wouldn't mind getting ours done too.

Me: Exactly! No fight no fuss. That's something you can do together! Spa day, hello!

Later we went on to talk about how women may not like to participate in their significant other’s crossdressing. It’s like any other…we’ll say ‘hobby’ for this example. If I dislike something that someone likes to do, that doesn't mean I won't support the person who wants to do it. I may or may not join in on what they like to do. I may or may not be there every time they’re doing whatever it is they’re doing but I’m supportive. If someone I’m with likes table top gaming but I’m not into it. I wouldn’t put them down for it. I might try to play to see if maybe I could get to like it but if I just don’t like to do it myself…it’s just something I don’t like to do. They can continue with it. I might even make snacks to serve to the gamers or hang out and watch/listen to what’s going on.

I hope other people can be like that. If your significant other likes to dress in a way contrary to their gender type, would you be able to support them even if you’re not in to it? Can you help them with their hair and make-up so they can hang with their friends who also like to dress? Will you go to an event with them even though it’s not an event you want to go to all the time just to support them? It’s my hope that sometime soon this will no longer be considered a taboo…maybe even be considered a some-what normal occurrence.

That’s all I have to say for now. I hope you all have a GREAT DAY!!!

I will again be making an appearance at The Original GLBT Expo in NYC this weekend! I will be interviewed in the Video Lounge on Sunday. I’ll Have pictures and my experience from there to share with you soon!

Love,

Pirate Pebbs

*Bold Print (for the most part) is my CD friend’s words.

CD= Crossdresser, GG= Genetic Girl=Cis-Gendered Female=Female who was born female and identifies as female.

Crossdress-O-Ween

The end of last month, October, is somewhat of a crossdresser liberation time. The time, where crossdressers can crossdress in relative freedom knowing...they can always just say its a costume...
...Ok...in reality thats less than Ideal. People would prefer to dress as they'd like whenever they'd like and not be judged harshly for it. Generally around halloween time is when it happens. Guys dress as girls, girls dress like whores (or atleast its generally acceptable to do so)... and everyone can get away with it with their reputations intact because its a 'costume'.

Which bring me to this year's festivities. I...don't celebrate Halloween, but I do LOVE to dress up in costumes. A friend, a couple of months ago, asked me if I'd come to a party if she had one cause she was scared no one would come due to her being in NJ and most of her invited guests are in Philly. I told her i'd come even if no one else did. She was at least relieved. Since I'm still borrowing Paula's car (long story) I invited Paula as well. I felt compelled to ask if Paula had ever dressed as a girl for Halloween. To which I was somewhat surprised that the answer was No. I got to thinking of some of the other CD's I know...some others have never donned girl gear for halloween as well, they were afraid they'd do or say something and be found out. Yet most of the Men I know have gone girl at least once in their lives for halloween. It's like a rite of passage. So I suggested Paula do so. Paula was apprehensive to do so especially since we were scheduled to go to a party at his friend's house as well but...I can be very convincing. I told Paula I'd dress as a guy, that way there would be less to no suspicion. I'd wear a suit & tie and even don a fakie beard/mustache. Paula agreed after that. ...Turns out his friend's party wound up being in Virginia...was a bit far so we just went to my friend's party. He was a bit relieved knowing he probably wouldn't see any of his friends.

So Saturday October 27th arrived. Paula and I step out to get a few things from a few stores. Paula was in desperate need of flat shoes. Paula found that the womens shoe size that is supposed to be worn is a size 13 and that Payless has that size. My mom told me there was a Payless in a mall near my house and we should try there first. Since we had to go to that same mall anyway to get a new wig we figured we'd try there. We went to the wig store and didn't really see what we were looking for at first. Walked around a bit more and decided on just getting a ponytail extension for the wig Paula already had. We wished we had the wig with us to check if the color was right...but it was. Pebbs is the awesome!!!

Next in search of Payless...which was not in that mall. But we did some browsing in the shops anyway. We came across the Rainbow clothing store. They had some sales so we figured a browse wouldn't hurt. What we found there was pretty awesome! We found a brand new ensemble for Paula there. New shirt, skirt, leggings, jewelry, only thing we didn't find were shoes...which was our next destination. Off we went to Payless to get shoes. We went to one in Delaware...I can't remember the strip mall's name... but it's on Rt 202...the mall that also has a 5 Guys next to a 5 below...coincidence? I think NOT! lol. So we went there and found that Paula did indeed fit a size 13 shoe. Also we found some very nice flats and some wedge heeled shoes that Paula found quite comfortable. I had a coupon for 10% off but the lady who worked the register has a coupon for 30% off that she let us use! Yay! The price for 2 pairs of size 13 shoes were $30...and like 26 cents or something like that... but basically $30!!! So Ladies, if you're looking for shoes sized 13 and below check out Payless. Their website will tell you which stores carry larger sized women's shoes.

Next we stopped by the dollar store. I needed mascara for my fakie beard. I tried to use my brand new Avon Mascara and...well...the bristles are perfect for my lashes but too advanced for my face. What I needed was a cheap mascara wand. At the dollar store I knew i'd find something to suit my purposes. I found a mascara and eyeliner pencil set for $1. I got it in brown/black because black was a bit too dark on me when I tried it out the night before. I also discovered that i'd look horrible w/ a mustache.

Back & the batcave aka my house we set to putting our looks together. Paula got all dolled up, with my help of course, using some new Avon products that I bought from...myself, as well as the Bare Minerals makeup Paula purchased on a previous outing with me (click here for details on that) we got Paula looking Great! All Dolled Up Paula looked like a teenaged girl going to the prom...even though the outfit wasn't traditional prom style. I even put a tiny tiara on Paula's head.

I...looked guyish. I braided my hair back the day before. I put mascara on my brows and below my brows to make them look bigger. I noticed, guy eyebrows are closer to their eyes and girls brows tend to be above the eyes a bit more. I also put mascara in the beard area. Gave myself a chinstrap beard...it at least didn't look bad on me. I borrowed a shirt & tie from a friend and wore my younger cousin's dress pants, he and I wear the same size and I borrow his jeans often. I wore my own blazer and my work shoes which are pretty unisex. Then we were off.

Ok so we left the house about an hour after we'd planned...Making Paula look perfect was time consuming. We got to my friend's house about an hour late. Everyone thought our 'costumes' were pretty awesome. I had Made my friend's Elf costume over the week leading to the party between having to work etc. Her costume was lovely as well. Her boyfriend was the wolf man and his twin brother went as...him. lol, at least thats what he told us. It was a fun time. Ended a bit earlier than expected so we went back to philly to Dr. Thunder Karaoke!!! Where I usually co-host. Karaoke that day was at Headhouse on Lombard Street in Philadelphia. We went there I sang a song or two. Met up with some of my friends there as well. Fellow Karaoke Hosts for TNT Karaoke, Ray & Marci. It was fun seeing them there in their costumes. Marci was Storm, from the X-Men. She looked Amazing! and Ray was...one of the guys from KISS...I can't remember which guy...but he was Awesome as well!!! Dr. Thunder was dressed as...Viking Dr. Thunder! Which was also fun.

All in all it was a good night. As I reflected on my look for that night I had come to discover... I am not into looking fully like a guy. I like looking like a girl who is wearing guys clothing. I like my pinstriped suits and my fedoras but I will also wear lipstick & mascara cause thats what I like and how I like to look. Goy Style!

Laterz!

BTW, Below are some Pics. Are there any CD's out there who did dress as a girl for halloween? How's that go? I'd love to hear about it.

CD learns how to apply Make-Up

A month or so ago I stopped by Bare Escentuals to price some replacement make-up. While I was there I decided to inquire as to whether or not they apply make-up to males. I explained that I write a blog about straight crossdressers and that I was impressed with their teaching me how to apply make-up 4-ish years ago, and I wondered if they’d do the same for males who want to look female. They told me that they do and have. They even went on to tell me a few stories. I was quite pleased that I would be able to bring men there to learn how to make themselves look girlish without the use of make-up with harmful chemicals. They told me the best times to come are Monday-Thursday evenings. There are usually less people in the mall and even less in the store. I was told to call in advance for an appointment.

 The original plan was to take Paula to Bare Escentuals on Wednesday night. I called and set the appointment explaining I was bringing in a male to have a makeover. …then I remembered that I had work Wednesday night. I called Paula up and asked if *he were free that night (Monday) and he was. I called back and set the appointment to just a few hours from the time I called. I picked Paula up and we headed to the Christiana Mall in Delaware. Paula brought along his new dresses (which had come in the mail that day) and his wig…in a duffel bag (ah the trusty duffel bag that every crossdresser has, or at least has had, for storing his girl things). We headed to the store and told them who we were and the lady there started on his face.

She started out with their basic ‘Get Started’ kit which included a foundation, mineral veil, brushes. She even showed how you can cover up the old 5 o’ clock shadow with just a few strokes using the concealer brush. That’ll totally come in handy. She showed him how to do some natural looking contouring on his face. It was quite interesting to see. Since, at that point, paula was unsure of  what color dress he’d be wearing to Raven 11 (either a red dress or black one) the make-up artist decided to go with a light pink & smoky eye combo that she figured would go great with either color. After she was done I took a picture of Paula’s face …but… well… I couldn’t really see if it looked right w/o the wig on. So I pulled the wig out of the trusty duffle bag and put it on Paula’s head and took another picture. Now I could see it and it looked Great! Before we left… he took all of the makeup off, we were in a populated mall after all and he was dressed as a guy. I would have loved to have him stay in the makeup so that I could see him in his new dresses all made up, but that wasn’t to be. We did go back to my place and had him try on the dresses. One was way too big. The other one was just right. I fashioned some accessories for him. I made a pair of my favorite earrings into clip-ons for him to wear. I also made a necklace, and extended the chain of an anklet. All he needs now is a ring and maybe a  bracelet or two and his look is complete…though…he really doesn’t need either of those and he’d still look great. On Saturday I and all in attendance at the party will see how well he learned how to apply make-up from the lady at Bare Esentuals. …but if it doesn’t look great…I’ll probably help him out. I mean, he is still a beginner. I’m amazed he agreed to actually go into the place…inside of a mall, to learn. He’s definitely got guts! …Or maybe he just really trusts that I won’t let anything go wrong. Well…I guess we’ll know if I can get him to write about his perspective of the experience. J

*(The reason I used the pronoun ‘he’ is because he was in guy mode most of the time and he doesn’t care what pronoun is use when referring to him. I asked)

CD Shopping Day part 2 - Paula's Perspective

This is another Guest Post. This one is from Paula. This is Paula's perspective of the CD Shopping Day. Paula, you have the floor!
****************************************************************************

Dressing up has been an on and off thing since I was in high school, but it’s also been pretty private none of my friends or family know. Which is fine because it’s not really their business anyway, but also since no one has ever known I’ve never really gotten much help or bought things so I know less about everything than I guess most other cross dressers. I’d met Pebbles a few times and we’d had fun hanging out so when she offered to help me shop for some things I was pretty excited. I’m not saying I wasn’t really nervous but Pebbles being with me made me feel ok about it. On my own I would never EVER have gone out to do something like this. She picked me up and we headed out to the first store checking out some dresses. Pebbles carried everything most of the time so it wasn’t embarrassing and the store wasn’t real crowded either which was a plus, once we got to the step of trying them on I started to get a little nervous, but Pebbles stood right outside the door keeping watch. Still had a jolt of fear each time we opened the door a crack so she could see how they looked. It went smooth though and no one noticed or said anything and three of the dresses were pretty great. Including a pink one that I think she uploaded a pic of on here that I wore to the Raven party.

We picked them up out paid for them and a makeup case and it was on to the next part of our trip and I think where I might have been my most nervous. We got to a shop that Pebbles knew about to try and find the right wig. I probably should have expected to try one on since I mean we’d need to know how it looked to get the right one. However, I hadn’t really even considered that and when she asked which ones I wanted to try on there was probably an audible GULP sound effect. Pebbles told the sales lady that it was for a costume party and she didn’t seem to mind if we tried them on as I sat down I honestly felt like everyone was staring at me… To be honest I don’t have any evidence to suggest that anyone other than Pebbles and the sales lady were in fact looking at me at all, but whatever I was nervous and paranoid… It went ok though and we found a wig that we both really liked. So after an eternity… (probably 2 minutes maximum in not scared time) we picked up some lashes and a wig cap and hit the road.

We had another quick stop to get a bra and some things we needed to make a corset, and a nice break to get some dinner, before heading back to her place for dress up time. I would have been super nervous to be getting dressed up at all it’s something I’m very used to being embarrassed about, but Pebbles obviously already knew and let me know that everyone in her house knew and was ok with it. First we tried on the wig and then Pebbles got to work taping me up to make the corset, I kind of expected it to be tight and a little harder to breathe, but I didn’t think about how hard it would be to move, bend, and sit… It made putting on the dresses a lot easier since I fit them better, but also made putting on my shoes impossibly difficult since I couldn’t even reach the buckles. After a while though Pebbles and Kandice finished doing my makeup and I got to see myself all dressed up for the first time and got to show the three dresses while Pebbles took some photos. It was totally awesome, I kind of never expected to ever do anything like it. It was weird I’ve never really been able to look anything close to feminine and really didn’t imagine I’d look even ok. I thought I turned out really nice. I was actually a little disappointed to have to go back into guy mode, but… I would have had to answer a lot of questions if I showed up back at my house in that pink dress, and I’m not interested in letting my room mates in on things. Totally without question the best Monday in history.

Paula

*******************************************************
I am Proud to have been part of the 'BEST MONDAY IN HISTORY!'
I think Paula looked Great!
Hmmm... Maybe this could be a side venture. Taking closet CDs out shopping. LOL, would be fun for me :)

See Ya Next time!

Pirate Pebbs!

CD Shopping Day!

A couple of weeks ago I promised a local straight CD I'd take him shopping. Finally settled on this past Monday as the day. I had found articles on making low cost diy style corsets using a t-shirt and duct tape.

I picked him up a lil after 5pm and we drove to on of my favorite discount clothing stores JoMar (there are several locations in the philly area) looked through the dresses area for a while till we found a few we liked. I carried around the dresses most of the time to be less conspicuous. We got about 5 dresses and headed to the changing room area. No one was really manning that area so he went in one of the lil rooms and I gave him the dresses. he tried them on one by one and he opened the door a bit so I could see the dresses on him. We liked 3 of them. At the register there were make up kits. We grabbed one as well. Next we headed to a wig store. The one I was used to going to relocated a few blocks away. (had to call my mom to find out where) the new store was Huge! Went in and looked at wigs. after about 20 minutes of looking (and several girls asking if I needed their help) we finally settled on 2 we liked. I finally let one of the girls help us. I explained to her that we were going to a costume party (kinda true, we're going to a CD/TG party on the 14th, more info to follow) and needed the wigs tried on him. She was like, "fine with me, as long as he's secure in his masculinity" ... or something like that. Of the 2 wigs, one stood out and looked Great on him. Things were starting to come together. Before we left there we picked up some wig caps and eyelashes. Next off to another JoMar location. We forgot to get him a bra! We found a bra with removable straps so that we could replace them with clear straps. We also got a t-shirt. Got a pink one for the inside of his duct tape corset. Next...we had to stop by boston market for some food. Not too much for him, he was gonna be taped in pretty tight soon enough. Next we went to lowes to get the duct tape. Then back to my house to put it all together. Fortunately for him...everyone in my house already knows of my interest in crossdressers so there is no weirdness. Everyone includes my visiting aunt who stayed in the guest room the whole time. My younger male cousin who dressed as a catgirl for halloween last year (yes i helped dress him...he was wearing my clothes), and my friend who is staying for the summer which is the one who did his makeup. 

First we put on the wig, next we made the corset. It worked out really well. Next we put the bra on him. It was a lil snug, we'll just buy some bra extenders at some point if need be. Didn't have any falsies available so we stuffed his bra with socks...it worked for the moment. Next he put on his pink platform shoes, which he discovered is much harder to put on while corseted. Finally, On with the Dresses!!! The first was a light pink cocktail (i think) dress with a plunging v neck line and a darker pink sash around the waist. It looked nice on him. While he was wearing it my friend applied some make up to his face. Her transformation was complete. This was the first time she saw herself completely in female form & she Loved it! Next was another pink dress. this time a darker pink halter style dress that looked even better than the first. Lastly a long blue strapless dress that was quite fetching on her. I took a few pics of each outfit on her then it was time to get out of the girl clothes. Last thing to do was to cut off the corset (then he could breathe normally again). Next I took him home. He was extremely grateful for the experience and help. This was his Best Monday EVER! I'm glad to be a part of it :)


Here are some Pictures... YAY!!! I got permission to post them as long as his face is not fully shown....Guess I can add additional pixilation if requested.


First the Duct Tape Corset, since that's what we started with (besides the wig)

Next on to the main event...er...the Person of the Hour!

I did photoshop the shoes.
body hair removal also.

Let me know what you think. Feel free to comment here or on the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/straightcrossdressers


You can see us Both in New Hope this Saturday at: Jen Bryant's Summer Sizzle (RAVEN 10) Details to follow in next blog entry.


See you soon!

Pirate Pebbs