Convo with a CD friend #1 of Many

I was talking to one of my Crossdressing friends the other day. We were talking about clothes, dressing, relationships and such. At some point she says,

*”You are very out there, why can't I be someone like that, loyal and honest and don't care [about what others think about you]?’

My Response: It takes a bit of...well...getting over yourself. I got over myself. Embarrassing things are gonna happen, people are gonna not like some things you do. People are gonna try to put you down, question is...how do you feel about you? Do you like what you do? Do you like who you are?

People come and go, you will be with you all of your life. You should take care of the inner you. The inner you wants to be happy. The inner you likes to dress a certain way and act a certain way. The inner you may want to look different every day. The inner you may wanna dress the same way for a week then totally change up. If you're with someone who can't deal with you being you...well...I don't see how making your inner self sad to make someone else happy will keep you happy for too long.

That was spewed out in the middle of the night when my friend was sleep. Later she responded:

“Wow Pebbles, You just broke it down, But you are right.  I see what you are saying, WE are some [of the] good men out there. Just because we want to dress like a woman doesn't mean we want to be with one or be gay or bi or anything like that.”

Me: Nearly all if not all of the CD dudes I chat with are really nice people & really 'good' guys. If a GG wants to be treated 'right' I highly recommend a CD. If the GG can get over themselves maybe they can find happiness in the arms of someone who just Might look better than them occasionally, lol. A lot of people don't get over themselves till they are way old. You don't see (some)old ladies not doing stuff or saying stuff just cause it might be embarrassing... life is too short to dwell on dumb stuff!

Later, We were discussing relationships again and the GG my CD friend is dating.

Me: I wanna say something which may come off pretty... 'guy-ish' and I'm not talkin’ nice guy... Here it goes. If you think she is your One, you should find a way to tell her you like to dress. If she's not...well...are you ready to drop her in a minute if you do find your 'one' who is fine with who you are?

I totally understand companionship. I didn't like being alone [when I was single].

Their response: ‘Well she’s somewhat one, but what is the one?... I'm 35 years old I don't know what to believe in that aspect. I would think the one would have come by now.

Me: So many of my CD/TG friends are with people who don't like a very real part of them...the emotional turmoil they go through because of it is really heartbreaking!

I had a friend show his girlfriend a picture of him en femme to come out to her. She thought he was really cute. They continued to date for a while, eventually they broke up, but not because of his dressing.

I wish I could talk to all the 'girlfriends that don't know' and ease them into the thought of it. CD guys (in my opinion) are just sooooo much easier to deal with than 'regular' guys. You Know what their major quirk is, that secret is gone! If you can deal with that, everything else will be a breeze to get through! And if you tell her & it doesn't work [or she thinks she can’t deal with it], well, you didn't invest TOO much time in a relationship that wouldn't work out in the end anyway

Why is a CD guys so much easier?

Me: More in touch with their feminine side...for example. [Some] Ladies sometimes (or all the times) wanna get their hair/nails etc done, right?

Yes they do.

Me: My ex hubby didn't understand that and to him it was kinda wasted money...his mom had to talk to him about that.

Oh yes we wouldn't mind getting ours done too.

Me: Exactly! No fight no fuss. That's something you can do together! Spa day, hello!

Later we went on to talk about how women may not like to participate in their significant other’s crossdressing. It’s like any other…we’ll say ‘hobby’ for this example. If I dislike something that someone likes to do, that doesn't mean I won't support the person who wants to do it. I may or may not join in on what they like to do. I may or may not be there every time they’re doing whatever it is they’re doing but I’m supportive. If someone I’m with likes table top gaming but I’m not into it. I wouldn’t put them down for it. I might try to play to see if maybe I could get to like it but if I just don’t like to do it myself…it’s just something I don’t like to do. They can continue with it. I might even make snacks to serve to the gamers or hang out and watch/listen to what’s going on.

I hope other people can be like that. If your significant other likes to dress in a way contrary to their gender type, would you be able to support them even if you’re not in to it? Can you help them with their hair and make-up so they can hang with their friends who also like to dress? Will you go to an event with them even though it’s not an event you want to go to all the time just to support them? It’s my hope that sometime soon this will no longer be considered a taboo…maybe even be considered a some-what normal occurrence.

That’s all I have to say for now. I hope you all have a GREAT DAY!!!

I will again be making an appearance at The Original GLBT Expo in NYC this weekend! I will be interviewed in the Video Lounge on Sunday. I’ll Have pictures and my experience from there to share with you soon!

Love,

Pirate Pebbs

*Bold Print (for the most part) is my CD friend’s words.

CD= Crossdresser, GG= Genetic Girl=Cis-Gendered Female=Female who was born female and identifies as female.

How to Impress a GG with your pictures

Ok, as I have said many times, I am a member of a few different dating websites, some of which are crossdresser dating sites. I have seen and been sent many pictures of crossdressers doing their thing. But...how do I say this... not all of the photos are pictures that would ...impress a GG* looking for a CD* BF* (i use a lot of abbreviations in here, don't i?). So I am going to give you a few tips. Cause, you see, a GG may not want to just see a headless set of boobs on an impressive or less than impressive body. Most GG's wanna see a face on that body. And that face should at least try to look pretty. (now if you're trying to impress another man that is a different story and being that i am not a man...i can't tell you how that kind of pic would go over)

Do: Shave. Before you take your pic, make sure you are clean shaven. No stubble, no facial hair that isn't brows or lashes.
Do: Apply Make up. Even the noobist noob can put on lipstick and mascara. If you feel embarrassed to buy it from the store, buy it online. There are many tutorials on how to apply make up for all shades of people on Youtube. It is an excellent resource for Girls and Gurls alike!
Do: Wear a Wig. Unless you have long hair. If not, at least style your hair in a girlish manner. Maybe some hair accessories or something. Hair does matter.
Do: Invest in a tripod and camera with a timer feature. I am not a fan of mirror shots. Mirror type pics...I just tolerate only because I know that a lot of lovely CD's don't have someone else to take their pics for them. But if they can get a $10 tripod from Walmart (possibly cheaper from craigslist or ebay) and they have access to a camera, most of which these days have a timer feature. If you could save $50 you could get a decent camera second hand from craigslist, ebay, or a new, but probably kinda crappy one from Big Lots or maybe even Walmart as well. With about $60 investment you could take nice self portraits. Cellphones are only good for face shots, for the most part. You can do a full body shot if you have a smartphone that has a timer feature if you prop up your phone.

Those pictures were taken with my smartphone's timer feature with the phone propped up in my closet. Not the prettiest pics (or the prettiest bedroom sorry took those pics months ago), to say the least, but you have full body and 3/4's body pics and a few minutes with trial and error. I do realize not everyone has a smartphone at their disposal. 

With a regular cellphone w/camera you can at least take a good head shot with some practice (the following works with hand held camera or cellphone camera): 

Hold the camera in your right hand and hold the camera slightly above your head pointed down at your face. Hold steady and hold your finger on the trigger. Wait a second or two before lowering your hand to look at your pic. It takes practice, but you can do it.

Do Not: Send headless pictures. If you're emailing pics, it means she wants to see your face so don't cut it off. Unless it's a case where you're sending more than one pic and at least one of them has your full face in view and the cut off pics are posed well.

Do Not: Send naked/NWS* pictures, unless you ask if it's ok first. You don't know who is around when they're opening their email. They may have a child on their lap while they check their email. just not a good idea unless you've asked first or at least put NWS in the subject header so she knows to open it when she's alone. (i know i've had some close calls not knowing what would be in my email)

So, yeah, Long story short. Send a polished (or as polished as your abilities) picture of yourself crossdressed. If you have no cd pics, send a nice looking/non blurry male picture of yourself. A nice looking male pic will go further than a blurry bad looking male pic, a half-hearted cd pic or no pic at all.

I may add to this list at a later time. These are all just my opinion being a Straight GG who likes CDs.

*CD= Crossdresser, GG= Genetic Girl, BF= Boyfriend, NWS= Not Work Safe