I was talking to one of my Crossdressing
friends the other day. We were talking about clothes, dressing, relationships
and such. At some point she says,
*”You
are very out there, why can't I be someone like that, loyal and honest and
don't care [about what others think about you]?’
My
Response: It takes a bit
of...well...getting over yourself. I got over myself. Embarrassing things are
gonna happen, people are gonna not like some things you do. People are gonna
try to put you down, question is...how do you feel about you? Do you like what
you do? Do you like who you are?
People come and go, you will be with you all
of your life. You should take care of the inner you. The inner you wants to be
happy. The inner you likes to dress a certain way and act a certain way. The
inner you may want to look different every day. The inner you may wanna dress
the same way for a week then totally change up. If you're with someone who
can't deal with you being you...well...I don't see how making your inner self
sad to make someone else happy will keep you happy for too long.
That was spewed out in the middle of the night
when my friend was sleep. Later she responded:
“Wow
Pebbles, You just broke it down, But you are right. I see what you are saying, WE
are some [of the] good men out there. Just because we want to dress like a
woman doesn't mean we want to be with
one or be gay or bi or anything like that.”
Me: Nearly all if not all of the CD dudes I chat
with are really nice people & really 'good' guys. If a GG wants to be
treated 'right' I highly recommend a CD. If the GG can get over themselves
maybe they can find happiness in the arms of someone who just Might look better than them
occasionally, lol. A lot of people don't get over themselves till they are way old. You don't see (some)old ladies
not doing stuff or saying stuff just cause it might be embarrassing... life is
too short to dwell on dumb stuff!
Later, We were discussing relationships again
and the GG my CD friend is dating.
Me: I wanna say something which may come off
pretty... 'guy-ish' and I'm not talkin’ nice
guy... Here it goes. If you think she is your One, you should find a way
to tell her you like to dress. If she's not...well...are you ready to drop her
in a minute if you do find your 'one' who is fine with who you are?
I totally understand companionship. I didn't like being alone [when I was
single].
Their response: ‘Well she’s somewhat one,
but what is the one?... I'm 35 years old I don't know what to believe in that
aspect. I would think the one would have come by now.
Me: So many of my CD/TG friends are with people
who don't like a very real
part of them...the emotional turmoil they go through because of it is really
heartbreaking!
I had a friend show his girlfriend a picture
of him en femme to come out to her. She
thought he was really cute. They continued to date for a while, eventually they
broke up, but not because of his dressing.
I wish I could talk to all the 'girlfriends
that don't know' and ease them into the thought of it. CD guys (in my opinion)
are just sooooo much easier to deal with than 'regular' guys. You Know what their major quirk is, that secret is gone! If you can deal
with that, everything else will be a breeze to get through! And if you tell her
& it doesn't work [or she thinks she can’t deal with it], well, you didn't
invest TOO much time in a relationship that wouldn't work out in the end anyway
Why
is a CD guys so much easier?
Me:
More in touch with
their feminine side...for example. [Some] Ladies sometimes (or all the times)
wanna get their hair/nails etc done, right?
Yes
they do.
Me:
My ex hubby didn't
understand that and to him it was kinda wasted money...his mom had to talk to
him about that.
Oh
yes we wouldn't mind getting ours done too.
Me:
Exactly! No fight no
fuss. That's something you can do
together! Spa day, hello!
Later we went on to talk about how women may
not like to participate in their significant other’s crossdressing. It’s like
any other…we’ll say ‘hobby’ for this example. If I dislike something that
someone likes to do, that doesn't mean I won't support the person who wants to
do it. I may or may not join in on what they like to do. I may or may not be
there every time they’re doing whatever it is they’re doing but I’m supportive.
If someone I’m with likes table top gaming but I’m not into it. I wouldn’t put
them down for it. I might try to play to see if maybe I could get to like it
but if I just don’t like to do it myself…it’s just something I don’t like to
do. They can continue with it. I might even make snacks to serve to the gamers
or hang out and watch/listen to what’s going on.
I hope other people can be like that. If your significant
other likes to dress in a way contrary to their gender type, would you be able
to support them even if you’re not in to it? Can you help them with their hair
and make-up so they can hang with their friends who also like to dress? Will you
go to an event with them even though it’s not an event you want to go to all
the time just to support them? It’s my hope that sometime soon this will no longer
be considered a taboo…maybe even be considered a some-what normal occurrence.
That’s all I have to say for now. I hope you
all have a GREAT DAY!!!
I will again be making an appearance at The Original
GLBT Expo in NYC this weekend! I will be interviewed in the Video Lounge on
Sunday. I’ll Have pictures and my experience from there to share with you soon!
Love,
Pirate Pebbs
*Bold Print (for the most part) is my CD
friend’s words.
CD= Crossdresser, GG= Genetic
Girl=Cis-Gendered Female=Female who was born female and identifies as female.
